Original date of post: November 28, 2013
Over the course of the last two months, I’ve seen my fair share of national capitals: London in England, Edinburgh in Scotland, Paris in France. Since one can never get too much traveling, it was time to round it off with one more: Amsterdam in the Netherlands, which I visited this most recent weekend with a few fellow travelers in the AHA program!
(One final note before I commence: I couldn’t take as many pictures as I wanted, as many stores in Amsterdam have a policy about not taking photos of displays or merchandise. As such, you’ll have to take my word on everything I’m about to describe. Also, even though I’ll use white text to mask the most risqué of my observations, consider this entire post to be rated PG-13.)
After one heck of a trip over from London to Amsterdam (which involved trains, buses, and sleeping in an airport with minimal success) my traveling companions and I finally arrived on Friday morning in this fabled city of vice, where marijuana and prostitution are both totally legal, the local flag has three Xs, and the Christmas decorations are borderline racist by American standards. BTW, a few quick notes about Christmas in the Netherlands: They don’t celebrate Christmas per se, but St. Nicholas Day on December 5th. Their equivalent of Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, is thin and dresses like the Pope, but he totally has the same facial features and beard of Santa. He also travels around with a posse of black men led by his personal sidekick, Black Pete, whose job is to beat up naughty children. All members of St. Nicholas’ posse are shown having pitch-black skin and somewhat exaggerated lips. We settled down at the apartment that we had rented out for the weekend and spent a good portion of the afternoon stocking up on supplies and napping.
After cooking and eating dinner for the night, my companions and I decided to wander the streets of Amsterdam, hoping to find a bar or cannabis café. At night, Amsterdam truly gets to show its beauty--the canals reflect light wondrously, the streets quiet down, and the buildings are only illuminated by a handful of street lights. As we roamed from street to street, we slowly gravitated towards an area of the city with more light and people, like moths to a flame, passing through a crowded market at one point (containing a man in a snowman costume dancing in a giant snow globe) and ducking into a series of alleys. White text commencing now: I believe it was after I saw the third scantily clad woman pressing her breasts from behind a storefront window and smiling at me in an alley filled with red fluorescent lights when I thought, Hold on, I think I’m being solicited by prostitutes!
That’s right, we had officially strolled into De Wallen, the oldest and most notorious of Amsterdam’s red-light districts (yes, there are more than one)! Along with the hundred or so prostitutes in shop windows (all scantily clad and sporting comically sized boobs of anime-like proportions), there were bars, sex stores, casinos, and cannabis cafes as far as the eyes could see-all completely legal! The whole place looked like a bored vice detective’s wet dream, spanned several canals, was filled with more red and pink lights than Las Vegas on steroids, had street vendors of every kind all over the place, and was easily the most crowded part of Amsterdam that I saw (surprise of the century right there). We made the most of our time there by ducking into a bar for a drink (Dutch beer is quite refreshing and is almost soda-like) between cannabis cafes. I didn’t smoke any weed throughout this trip--holding a burning object inches away from my face and breathing in thick smelly smoke isn’t my mug of cocoa--but I was fascinated by its (completely legal) consumption and how…ordinary and respectable many of the cafes seemed to be. To be honest, this applies to all of De Wallen, as most of the people on the streets--the johns, gamblers, junkies, barflies, and lechers who would usually be considered dregs of society--actually seemed normal, no different from the dozens of men and women one would find anywhere in London or Paris (with a noticeable lack of children). Maybe things are different in Amsterdam…or I’ve just gotten less judgmental…or more naïve. Either way, I was mesmerized by the bright lights and casual vice and went to bed excited for what Saturday would hold.
After that walk on the wild side, it was time to indulge in something a little more wholesome. It was time to do something more fun than all the pot, booze, and whores in the world: bicycling (yes, I still live with my parents; please don’t take my lunch money)! We biked all around the city, not with any real destinations in mind. Because Amsterdam has amazingly well-kept bike paths and plenty of places to lock up your bike, the bicycle truly is the best vehicle in the city, as you can get plenty of amazing views around the city (no one wears bike helmets; that’s how lawless this place is). As luck would have it (after I almost got smashed to bits by a trolley--just kidding, I was perfectly safe, though it didn’t look that way to observers), we stumbled across a market filled with street vendors, selling goods such as waffles, chocolate penises, winter clothing, chocolate boobies, bongs, chocolate vaginas, postcards, chocolate buttocks (Noticing a pattern here?), towels, fudge, and lewd t-shirts (One of which featured the catchy slogan, “Ass: The Other Vagina.”). We stuffed our faces with waffles (which were thin and stuffed with caramel and covered in chocolate) and fudge, bought a few postcards and plenty of towels, and marveled at the rest of the…unique merchandise. After being all market-ed out, we bicycled some more enjoying the scenic Amsterdam canals along the way.
That night, after making dinner, my companions decided to go out clubbing, as Amsterdam is widely renowned for its dance clubs. Since waiting in line to get into an exclusive crowded club filled with casual drug use isn’t exactly my scene, I decided to take a long walk around Amsterdam instead. Since it had easily been the most vibrant part of the city at night and had been filled with street vendors, I decided to start my random excursion in De Wallen. However, I became lost along the way and found myself in a quieter neighborhood, filled with canals and illuminated by giant rose-shaped lights. After all the vibrancy of the day and the prior night, it felt good to see the quaint, peaceful side of Amsterdam, far from the vice, bright lights, and the usual bustle one encounters in a major city. Along with this sense of tranquility I felt, the most memorable aspect of that night was a statue of Anne Frank (I’m pretty sure I was close to the Anne Frank House, but I can’t say so with absolute certainty). As in the case with Tower Green two months ago, I felt myself becoming pensive, reflecting on how lucky I am as an individual, not only to be traveling all over Western Europe and enjoying sights, but to be able to live free from fear of religious and ethnic persecution, unlike many people, including my ancestors, in past centuries. I wouldn’t say that these reflections made me happy per se, but I’m glad I had them. I went back to the apartment, satisfied with my simple, yet refreshing, walk around this grand old city.
Having enjoyed two wonderful days in Amsterdam, it was time to return home. On Sunday, we headed out to the airport…only to miss our flight and wait in the airport for five hours before we could board the next available flight. Wheee. Negativity aside, we made it home safe and sound, ready for the week’s challenges…
…And that was my time in Amsterdam! Incredibly enough, in a city filled with every manner of legalized vice, I had the time of my life avoiding it all and cycling around like a maniac. In fact, I had so much fun cycling, I’m seriously considering taking it up when I get back to the U.S. of A! One day, I’d like to return to Amsterdam, as there was much I didn’t get to see properly (the Anne Frank House during the day, for one). When I do, maybe I’ll finally give in to the dark side and smoke the wacky tobaccy…
Knowing me, I’ll probably just go cycling.
Modern reflections:
Well, this was a fun weekend! I still vividly remember most of the highlights of my Amsterdam trip, but rereading this account reminds me how crazy everything was. Amsterdam was a beautiful city, and I would like to go back there some day. There's a lot about this trip that's worthy of reflecting on, but I've limited it to the main highlights.
The legal marijuana was an interesting detail, but it wasn't something I got excited about. My marijuana-smoking friends were much more interested; the Facebook chat we used to plan the excursion was titled "We GET HIGH." They politely offered it to me plenty, but I always politely refused. As such, I was the "designated thinker" for a good chunk of the trip; I sometimes helped plan where to go when everyone was coming off their buzz. I'm glad I was traveling with such amiable amigos; they never once peer-pressured me into trying and consistently respected my desire to abstain. Their continuous weed consumption took us to sever cannabis cafés, one of which served the greatest cup of hot chocolate I've ever had.
Having lived in the Portland area for the better part of a decade and seen the gradual legalization of marijuana across America (and recent decriminalization of all drugs in Oregon), I'm definitely more desensitized to vice than I was ten years ago. Still, De Wallen stands out; you never forget your first time (or first few times) being solicited by window prostitutes.
Unfortunately, I never got around to taking up cycling after returning stateside. That has less to do with me and more to do with infrastructure; while casual biking is a reliable means of transportation in Amsterdam, it absolutely isn't anywhere I've been in America. Biking is definitely one thing I'll look into if/when I return to Amsterdam.
I have still not smoked marijuana to this day, and I have no intention to in the future. My psychoactive poisons are limited to alcohol and caffeine...both of which I picked up during my time abroad, now that I think of it. I guess I'm not above picking up vices while traveling after all!
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