Original date of post: November 5, 2013
Remember, remember, the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t’was his intent
To blow up the King and Parli’ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England’s overthrow;
By God’s providence he was catch’d
With a dark lantern and burning match.
A traitor to the Crown by his action,
No Parli’ment mercy from any faction,
His just end should’st be grim,
What should we do? BURN HIM!
Happy Guy Fawkes Day, readers!
Now, the obvious question (for people who haven’t read/seen V for Vendetta or aren’t caught up on English history) is, “Who’s Guy Fawkes?” Well, I know the poem that I’ve put up may have answered that question, but I’m going to answer it anyway: He was an English mercenary and devout Catholic who frequently fought on behalf of the Spanish Empire. In 1605, he became involved in a terrorist attack known as the Gunpowder Plot. The plan was simple: rent a house across the street from the Houses of Parliament, dig a tunnel underneath, and fill the space under Parliament with gunpowder barrels. On November 5th (when Parliament would open session and King James I of England would be in attendance), the conspirators would detonate the explosives, assassinating the King and everyone in Parliament. Then, the Spanish Empire and the Pope would be able to install a puppet monarch, ending the Protestant Reformation in England and the persecution of Catholics (which had begun under Queen Elizabeth I and had become increasingly nasty under James). Thanks to a leak within the conspirators, the Yeoman Warders (guards of the Tower of London) found out the plot and stormed the tunnel, catching Guy Fawkes just as he was about to detonate the explosives in a suicide bombing strike. Fawkes was arrested, detained at the Tower of London (where he was brutally tortured into confessing), tried, convicted of high treason and conspiracy to murder, and was sentenced to death by hanging, drawing, and quartering, as were all the other conspirators.
So what exactly is hanging, drawing, and quartering? Alright, inquisitive imaginary reader, highlight the white text if you dare: It was the penalty for high treason committed by male commoners. It was invented in 1241 specifically to punish the notorious pirate William Maurice. The convicted traitor would be forcibly dragged to the place of execution by a horse, then would be hanged until he was about half-dead. The executioner would then bring him down, castrate him (Remember, this punishment was only used on males. Also, ewwwwww.), then slit his belly open and pull out his vital organs (more ewwwwwww), one by one, throwing them into a nearby fire (this is when death occurred). The last organ pulled out would be the heart, which the executioner would hold above his head and loudly proclaim, “Behold the heart of a traitor!” Finally, the executioner would use an ax to decapitate the body, and then split it into four segments (each segment containing a limb). The segments, or “quarters,” would be shipped to the four corners of Great Britain to be put on display at various fortresses, while the head would be mounted on a pike and put up for display at whatever jurisdiction the treasonous plot took place (this tradition started with the execution of Sir William Wallace, who, despite being of Scottish nobility, was executed in this manner in 1305). For most castles, the head would be put up on the battlements near the back entrance, while in London, most severed heads were kept on London Bridge or overlooking Traitors’ Gate at the Tower of London. Remember, this was only the penalty for treason committed by male commoners: female commoners were burned at the stake (which was considered both more merciful and more decent, as it didn’t involve removing any clothes) and nobles of both sexes were beheaded.
Fawkes and his conspirators were sentenced to this fate and they were all executed, one after the other. On the last day, Fawkes was dragged to his place of execution, but before the noose could be put around his neck, he leaped from the gallows, breaking his neck in the fall. Though he escaped the nastier aspects of hanging, drawing, and quartering, his body was still posthumously mutilated and decapitated.
Anyhoo, after Fawkes’ death, the English began commemorating the failure of the Gunpowder Plot every November 5th, celebrating with bonfires and fireworks (because nothing says, “Thank goodness we stopped a vile and violent plot!” like burning s*** and blowing s*** up). Though Fawkes was not the kingpin of the conspirators, his dashing nature and history, combined with the fact that he was the one discovered and arrested at the scene, made him the leader in the court of public opinion, leading to his name being attached to the holiday. Traditionally, people will build crude dummies in Fawkes’ likeness known as “guys” and will burn them in a bonfire (Fun fact: This is where the common word guy comes from. Because “guys” were usually made to appear as ugly and deformed as possible, the British used the word “guy” to describe any homely or unpleasant person and eventually started using it to describe Americans. Americans, not wanting to let a good bit of slang go to waste, embraced the word and started to use it to describe themselves; that is where the modern usage of guy comes from. Isn’t that a cool story, guys?). In olden days, they would also follow up by burning an effigy of the Pope (I should note that English persecution of Catholics only got worse after the Gunpowder Plot for as long as James I was king, proving once again that terrorism leads to nothing good), but I don’t think that has been done in a while. All in all, Guy Fawkes Day is an interesting and chaotic holiday that I looked forward to partaking in.
Unfortunately, things don’t always work out as planned. Despite my best attempts, I was unable to find any nearby bonfires or firework displays, making this an ordinary night for me…sort of.
Don’t worry, dear reader, I still had quite a great day! I only had one class, so my afternoon was nice and free. My spirits were high, as I found out that I have officially gotten As on all of my midterms (and all my class assignments so far, believe it or not), so I enjoyed a nice long lunch and headed home. Not willing to let my guard down academically, I then all but finished my econ presentation preparations for next week, meaning that I officially have no homework for the immediately foreseeable future! Flush with success, I then sat down and beat Mario and Luigi: Dream Team, my video game companion for the past two months. I topped this off by adding tomatoes to my pasta for dinner, officially making progress in life by expanding my palate, along with work and play (This may sound trivial, but to someone like me, it means quite a bit.). I then proceeded to a nearby pub, where I enjoyed a delicious after-dinner meal of chips with Guinness, followed by half a giant Cadbury (Best. Milk. Chocolate. Ever!) chocolate bar back at home. Yum!
So there you have it: even though I was unable to find a proper bonfire or firework show, I had quite a pleasant, yet vaguely adventurous, day! All the while, there were fireworks going off all night, along with the last few nights (though some of them may have been tied to the Hindu holiday of Diwali, which is important for England’s Hindu population). I’m satisfied with my Guy Fawkes Day experience here in England, and to finish off this wonderful night, here’s the end of the poem:
Holler boys, holler boys, let the bells ring,
Holler boys, holler boys, God save the King!
Modern reflections:
As I discovered ten years ago, Guy Fawkes Day isn't quite as big a deal as the history books indicate. I saw more public displays of celebrating Halloween and Diwali while in England. Still, there were plenty of fireworks on November 5 (though I wasn't able to get any decent pictures of them), and the day was memorable thanks to expanding my culinary palate (I've long had an aversion to tomatoes, so my adding them to pasta was a big deal) and my video game conquests (games sometimes serve as continual companions at various times, and Dream Team had been with me on countless Tube rides). The beer and chocolate didn't hurt, either.
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