Tuesday, May 26, 2026

Let's Go to Prison

Hi, everyone—it’s me, your friendly neighbourhood freelance defense attorney!  I haven’t had much to blog about recently due to work; I’m busy expanding my practice in Salem and winding down what remains in Tilamook (I’ll write about that in more detail if there are any major developments).  The biggest thing in recent months is that I’ve started contract work as a public defender with Salem Municipal Court.  I’ll likely go into more detail about that next month, but it’s getting me back in semi-regular action and has been feeding into my workload.  I’m still holding out for a more permanent position, but hourly work keeps me busy and is paying the bills for now (even if it makes me a little obsessive with timekeeping).

However, the thing that finally convinced me to write a new post was a little adventure I had this week: on Memorial Day, I got to go to Oregon State Penitentiary!

…yay?

I did not take any pictures of Oregon State Penitentiary as (a) I did not bring my phone with me for security reasons and (b) taking photos of highly secure government buildings tends to attract the wrong kind of attention these days.  Instead, I will be featuring photos of completely unrelated facilities.  For example, here is the Delfino Plaza jail from Super Mario Sunshine.  I do not have any clients incarcerated here.

This isn’t my first time going to the slammer for professional reasons.  I’ve made multiple trips to county jails in Marion County and Polk County to visit clients (the former of which I spent so much time in the visiting area that I used to call it my secondary office).  I’ve also visited Coffee Creek Correctional Facility (Oregon’s only women’s prison*, which also serves as the intake center for the Oregon Department of Corrections) when I was interning at the Federal Public Defender in Portland during law school.  This was a whole other degree: Oregon State Penitentiary is Oregon’s only maximum-security prison and contains men’s death row and the state execution chamber (which has been used only twice post-Furman**).  Thankfully, my business had nothing to do with capital punishment; I was there to go over paperwork with a client related to a municipal matter not connected to his imprisonment.  For this minor case, I found myself going to the most secure prison in Oregon early on Monday morning.

Here is the detention block of RAS Prosecutor from Star Wars: Republic Commando.  I have never visited a client here.

*A quick note for those that don’t know: the words “jail” and “prison” mean different things in the American criminal justice system.  Broadly speaking, a “jail” (also known as a “detention center,” “remand center,” or “lockup”) is a facility operated on a local level (usually by a county sheriff or municipal police department) used to detain suspects prior to trial or for short-term incarceration (particularly for misdemeanors).  A “prison” (sometimes known as a “correctional facility,” “corrections institute,” or “penal institution”) is a facility operated by a state correctional authority or the Federal Bureau of Prisons for long-term imprisonment of those convicted of felonies or incarceration of convicts awaiting appeals or execution.  A prison can also be known as a “penitentiary” or “reformatory” depending on the penal philosophy of the facility—a penitentiary tends to emphasize rehabilitation through constant surveillance work-based discipline, while a reformatory usually pursues reform through education and rewarding morality.  You now know a bunch of terms in the criminal justice system, and knowing is half the battle.

**Furman v. Georgia, 408 U.S. 238 (1972) was a U.S. Supreme Court decision that held that arbitrary or inconsistent application of the death penalty was unconstitutional, resulting in capital punishment being de facto outlawed in the United States until constitutional criteria for the death penalty were determined in Gregg v. Georgia, 428 U.S. 153 (1976).  Most modern scholarly analysis of the death penalty in the United States only focuses on death sentences imposed and executed after Furman.  If you didn’t know what the phrase “post-Furman” means, now you know.

Here is the Gizzard Gulch town jail from Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath.  I have not met with any clients here.

I woke up early on Memorial Day (which happened to be the most convenient day for this meeting) feeling fully prepared.  Not only had I laid everything out needed to wear and carry before going to bed, but I learned that Oregon State Penitentiary was only 4 minutes away by car.  After grabbing a quick cold brew, I made it to the prison easily enough.  While I have dealt with varying degrees of security procedures at courthouses and jails, it turns out a maximum-security prison is much more secure than any of them.  I was not allowed to bring anything besides ID, my paperwork, and a pen and had to leave the entire contents of my pockets in a locker out front.  I went through an airport-like checkpoint complete with removed shoes and a metal detector.  Furthermore, I constantly had to show off my ID and a stamp on my hand any time I entered a new room.  In all my years of going to court, going to jail, flying to and from Hawaii, and working in government buildings, I can safely say this is the most security I’ve ever had to get through at once…which, to be fair, is what I expected with a maximum-security prison.  Thankfully, meeting my client and going over paperwork went extremely smoothly, so security was the only unpleasant part of this errand.  Between the professionalism of the staff (at least the ones I interacted with) and the beauty of the grounds outside (which I didn’t photograph for previously mentioned reasons), I can see how Oregon State Penitentiary has 4.3 stars on Yelp!

…Seriously, it has 4.3 stars on Yelp.  To be honest, I don’t think I’d rate it that highly, but I’m not in the business of reviewing prisons.  While being an American Gustav de Beumont (a 19th century French prosecutor who toured and reviewed several American penitentiaries with his friend and colleague, the future political philosopher Alexis de Tocquville—you’re learning so much today!) has some appeal, it’s not what I see in the cards for now.  I’ll stick with my present calling: getting clients out of jail and keeping them out of prison (or at least making sure their stays are short).

This is a solitary confinement cell at United States Penitentiary, Alcatraz Island (aka USP Alcatraz or Alcatraz Federal Prison), a notorious maximum-security federal prison in the San Francisco Bay.  I have been here twice, but not as a lawyer.  This photo was taken during my second tour there thirteen years ago (...man, I feel old typing that).

Aside from occasional prison-based excitement, work’s been chugging along as well as I can expect.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to gain a more permanent position soon.  In the meantime, I’m making sure to enjoy the little things in life, from the warmth of my morning coffee to the adorable chaos of the Serotonin Squad.  Squeaking of those little monsters, I think the best way to finish this (somewhat pedantic) post off is a few more photos of their adorableness.  Enjoy, and see you next time!

Fits the decor!

surveillance duty

Sometimes, they hop on my shoulders while I'm on the toilet...

...and sometimes, they just put their paws on me and insist to be picked up.


Saturday, February 28, 2026

Fortune Favours the Old

   

Hi, readers!  Sorry for the delay in entries, but 2026 has been a whirlwind of good and bad (fairly good on a personal level and mostly bad on a global level, but that’s beside the point).  I’ve finally found some time to breathe and collect my thoughts, so I figured now’s as good a time as any to recap recent happenings and deliver my personal State of the Union (for myself, not the country; I don’t have the temperament to get into that right now).  Let’s go!

Work in the new office is mostly going smoothly; after weeks of scanning, shredding, and having to get a replacement shredder due to all the shredding, my partner and I have closed up all my old Tillamook cases, and we’re ready to take on new cases.  Everything was going smoothly: our interviews with the Marion County Association of Defenders went well, and we were offered full consortium membership contracts.  Unfortunately, we then ran into some funding issues; MCAD put our employment on hold, and we’re still waiting on them to secure funding from the state to support us.  In the meantime, we’ve started doing hourly defense work for unrepresented defendants on behalf of the Oregon Public Defense Commission in a few neighboring counties.  It doesn’t pay the most, but it should keep us in the game until things are resolved with MCAD.  There are other legal work opportunities that we’re looking out for, but we’re mostly holding out for eventual full contracts.

While things in Salem are still taking off, matters in Tillamook have been winding down.  As of writing this, I only have one unresolved criminal trial pending in Tillamook County; after that, the only cases I have left there are DUII diversion cases (where clients complete treatment programs in exchange for having charges dropped).  Soon, I’ll have no more professional reasons to return to Tillamook…though I feel that I’ll still want to visit from time to time.  The smell of dung may be strong, but it’s hard to avoid the siren calls of high-quality ice cream and fresh(er) seafood.

I’ve been living in Salem for seven months, but it still feels like I’m settling in.  It could be because I haven’t experienced a full yearly cycle yet, I’m still locking down relevant medical professionals, I have the aforementioned consortium complications, or just because I still haven’t figured out how to organize things in my room.  Nevertheless, I’m still doing what I can to make myself comfortable in this new community.  I’ve expanded my social circles by going to local bar association events and becoming a regular attendee at the nearby synagogue.  I’m still working on making new friends and reaching out to old friends, but these new frontiers have made me feel more at home more quickly than I did in Tillamook.  I look forward to seeing how this year goes for me as I continue my metamorphosis into a proper Salemite.

Work aside, the most notable event for me this year so far was my 33rd birthday (which therefore inspired the title of this post).  Given that it was on a Tuesday this year, I had to save my celebrations for a later weekend.  I was only able to get Cthulhu and two other friends, but the quality of celebrations more than made up for the small quantity of celebrators.  We were able to enjoy back-to-back feasts at two of my favourite local restaurants.  Being able to enjoy these restaurants in the company of friends made me realize how fortunate I have become: two years ago, I was unable to enjoy this company and these settings.  I’m still finding my way in an occasionally uncertain career during unstable times, but I think I’m right where I need to be.

But I know you didn’t click on this blog post just to hear my philosophizing and self-affirmations; you want cat pictures!  Don’t worry—the Serotonin Squad have been as adorable as ever these past four months (even though they’ve gotten soooo big), and I’ve got the photos to prove it.  Here’s some pictures of the chaos gremlins I live with, with a few bonus pics:

I've gotten in the habit of using my briefcase as a makeshift baby gate to keep the goblins out.




"Personal space?  What's that?  Did you mean purrsonal space?"







They continue trying to break into my room.  They succeeded one night, which led to fifteen minutes of literally herding cats.

They've gotten into the habit of demanding pets while going up or down the stairs.  I'm more than happy to oblige!

Not cat-related, but worth mentioning: while cuddling a rescue puppy at market last December, I came to the realization that my longtime fear of dogs has vanished in recent years! :)
My Halloween 2025 costume :)

 

Before wrapping up this entry, I have one more pleasant surprise.  I tried the 34th trial of my career last month, and it ended in a way that was both amusing and satisfying.  As such, I am triumphantly (albeit briefly) bringing back:

GREAT MOMENTS IN TILLAMOOK JURISPRUDENCE

*insert sophisticated music*

Episode X: Running Reckless

[An assault case has reached the halfway point, and the prosecution has rested its case.  The defense makes an oral motion before proceeding with its evidence.]

Benjamin D. Fischberg: The defense moves for a judgment of acquittal.  The state has accused [my client] of recklessly causing physical injury.  Under Oregon law, “reckless” means that a person disregards a substantial and unjustifiable risk.  The state has not explained what risky behavior [my client] is alleged to engaged in.

Judge: Counsel, what is the state’s rebuttal?

Prosecutor: Your honor, the state has proven that the defendant was running around the house while holding a case of bottled water.  It was therefore highly risky that someone could have been injured.

J: Counsel, are you saying that running around in your own house is substantially risky behavior?

P: It is when you have an elderly relative.

[Judge stares into space for a minute while thinking.]

J: …Running in your home is not reckless behavior.  Motion granted; case dismissed.

[My 34th trial ends in acquittal.  My client is reunited with their family.  I head home with a spring in my step and without having to present any evidence to the jury.]


Let's Go to Prison

Hi, everyone—it’s me, your friendly neighbourhood freelance defense attorney!   I haven’t had much to blog about recently due to work; I...