My Corona

Since my day job is equal parts boring and confidential, I frequently find myself hoping for something interesting to happen to me.  Well, you know what they say: be careful what you wish for.  After 4 years of quarantining, working from home, masking, social distancing, vaccinating, and taking occasional risks, I finally caught COVID-19.

Like a lot of cataclysmic things, it all started simply.  One night, as I prepared for bed, I felt a sore throat starting to form.  It was unusual, but nothing that concerned me.  When I woke up the following morning, my throat still felt sore.  I went to my office and prepared to work as usual.  Since the sore throat was annoying me, I decided to test myself for COVID-19 (I had some self-testing kits in my office left over from the last time I tested myself after being exposed).  I’d tested myself several times in the past, so I followed the testing procedure as usual.  What wasn’t usual was my result: a clear positive.  The dread of a multiyear pandemic fully washed over me; s*** had just gotten real.

I may have caught a dangerous disease, but the legal system stops for no one.  As such, I finished everything I reasonably could at the office before going home to isolate.  I made arrangements to have groceries delivered, made the necessary calls and emails to meet my work obligations, and made sure that my world would keep turning while I waited the virus out.  Much to my initial relief, I wasn’t feeling much in the way of symptoms; all I had for the first day was the sore throat and some mild nasal congestion.  It seemed like this was going to blow over in no time…then the night came.  As I prepared to go to bed, I was gripped by the most severe chills I have ever had in my life.  Admittedly, I don’t usually get chills with a fever, but these were objectively serious; I was shaking so badly that I couldn’t stand or hold a phone.  I eventually was able to power myself to the bathroom and take some ibuprofen, which seemed to lessen the chills.  Making sure I was keeping warm, I eventually shivered myself to sleep.  This was going to be more unpleasant than I thought.

The next week or so kept up the general wretched feelings I fell asleep to.  While my chills never got as bad as the night of the first day, I continued to get them at night.  My sore throat came and went in random intervals, eventually becoming less prevalent.  My nose was constantly stuffy or runny, with my head constantly feeling more and more congested.  Worst of all, I had a general yucky feeling that made doing almost anything unpleasant.  Though I kept it mostly at home, I continued to work as needed, appearing in court by video and making occasional trips to the office.  I tried to get plenty of rest and hydration as I counted down the hours for when I could test myself next.  Seeing Cthulhu was out of the picture, so I made do with Facetiming Cthulhu, texting other friends, and occasional video game binges.  I had been preparing for this situation for about 4 years, so I had some things under control, but I still felt occasionally overwhelmed by the fear, frustration, and grossness that only COVID-19 could give me.

Fortunately, there was a mantra that helped me get through it all: this too shall pass.  It passed like the worst bowel movement ever, but it did pass.  I outlasted the quarantine requirements, allowing me to return to work as usual (albeit with a mask) and mostly lead a normal life.  Every 2 days, I made sure to test myself.  I continued testing positive for a week after quarantine was over; even though my symptoms got milder and more allergy-like over time, that little red line indicating a positive result continued to vex me.  I remained in relative isolation when possible, and I started to worry how this would affect my long-term plans.  After persevering and testing for a total of about 2 weeks, I finally tested negative.  More gloriously, I tested negative again when I tested 48 hours later.  I had no symptoms, my head was clear, and I no longer had any barriers keeping me from enjoying life.  I had officially survived COVID-19.

It has now been 2 weeks since I tested negative twice.  As I have readjusted into a normal life, there are some things that have stuck with me.  First, I am extremely grateful for modern medicine.  I have no doubt that COVID-19 would be much worse if not for my multiple vaccinations, and I am glad that the technology to test for COVID-19 is readily available to the public.  Second, getting COVID-19 can really make you realize how much the world has changed in the past 4 years.  The court had mechanisms in place for me to appear remotely (something that was extremely rare when I was first starting out as a lawyer), and there were smartphone apps available that allowed me to shop for groceries without having to leave quarantine at home.  Finally, and most importantly, I will not be taking my health for granted from here on out.  As I write this, I am preparing for vacation in Hawaii in Cthulhu.  While I’ll certainly be relaxing whenever possible and enjoying life to the fullest, I plan to continue masking when feasible and keeping a careful distance from others when possible.  Healthy living is a gift, and it is one I plan to safeguard as I settle down to relax, free from COVID-19 and court appearances.

Happy Holidaze

Howdy, folks—welcome to 2024!

After months of nostalgic posts (with one brief respite), I’m finally back to blogging in the present.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot for me to write about (which is why I was reposting old entries for a while), but there’s one thing I can reflect on from the past few months: holidays!  Since I live miles away from most of my friends and loved ones, holidays tend to be a low-key thing on my end; I tag along with whatever comes around, but I generally march to my own tune and celebrate as I see fit.  The past few months are a good illustration of this.

Halloween usually conjures up images of costume contests, trick-or-treating, and eating way too much candy.  Historically, that’s how I have celebrated Halloween; fate had other plans this year.  All Hallows’ Eve in 2023 was on a Tuesday—not exactly the best day to find a party or celebrate irresponsibly.  Children sometimes trick-or-treat around downtown Tillamook, but my office is somewhat out of the way for that.  As such, my options were somewhat limited.  However, the best part of having limited options is that it’s up to you to make the most of them.  Though I still reported to my office in a suit and tie, I enhanced my outfit with a Halloween-colored tie and a cloak I originally got at a Renaissance Faire.  Work was light (I didn’t have any court appearances or office appointments), so I had the day to catch up on some work, gorge myself on candy I bought at Safeway, binge watch Simpsons Halloween specials, and go home early to relax/play video games (most notably the horror classic Luigi’s Mansion).  Some may not see this as the most exciting Halloween, but it was my Halloween—it scratched all my itches, didn’t stress me out, and was just what I needed to relax in the middle of a workweek.

Most Americans spend Thanksgiving taking the week off and getting together with their families.  There were two reasons I couldn’t do that in 2023: (1) my immediate relatives live in Hawaii, which is difficult to go to on a whim and (2) I had a trial on the week of Thanksgiving, so taking the week off was not an option.  As such, I had myself a happy little Thanksgiving out in Tillamook by staying home, taking time to myself not to work, silently reflecting on what I’m grateful for (my health, my job security, my friends and family, among other things), and celebrating with my neighbors on my island in Animal Crossing: New Horizons.  I wasn’t totally isolated: I took the time to call loved ones and contact old friends.  It wasn’t a typical Thanksgiving, but it was a good way to wind down after a contentious trial.  On the other hand, I spent Black Friday as I always do—huddled up indoors, avoiding the riots, and taking a curious look at the various online sales.  That felt reassuring…and it certainly kept me safe!

While Hanukkah in my childhood frequently meant indulging in fried foods and long games of dreidel, Hanukkah in my adulthood tends to be more subdued.  Hanukkah 2023 was no exception: there were some long-distances exchanges of gifts with family and a party on the eighth night, but my main celebration for all eight nights was lighting up my small electric menorah and praying—something I’ve been used to for the better part of the last decade.  It offered a quiet, spiritual respite for eight consecutive nights and provided a little warmth and light in an increasingly dark world.

(Eagle-eyed readers may notice that I've posted this photo before.  Still, I feel that it's a particularly good picture of my electric menorah, so here it is again!)

One of the best things about Christmas when you’re a lawyer is that work tends to slow down during the holiday season.  Regardless of the crime rate or docket size, clerks and judges tend to schedule few things for late December.  As such, I had a whole lot of nothing scheduled for the days leading up to Christmas and could afford to take multiple days off.  That is how I ultimately got to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with Cthulhu.  We mostly just slept in and relaxed, which is the best thing to do on a cold day with a person you love!

I also had plenty of opportunity to cuddle with Christmas Cat, who has gotten bigger but no less cute in the past two years!

I’m not one for drinking champagne or partying like it’s 1999, so I’ve developed my own set of New Year’s traditions over the years.  I stay up until midnight around loved ones, reflect on the year, consider achieved/possible resolutions, and mow down hordes of battle droids in Star Wars: Republic Commando.  Thanks to a continuously low workload, I was able to observe these traditions alongside Cthulhu and their cats to ring in a promising 2024.  I also added a new potential tradition: counting down to midnight with my Animal Crossing neighbors (honestly, that game is serving as a decent substitute for socializing while I continue to live in rural isolation).  It may not have been exciting, but it’s exactly how I wanted to end 2023.

Pictured: how I celebrated the moment the year changed

Now that 2023 is over and 2024 has rolled on in, I’ve got a whole new year of holidays to observe.  How will I observe them?  Will I be able to branch out into more exciting observances (especially since COVID continues to decline)?  Time will tell, but I’ve already got one to consider: my own birthday, which is in the middle of January.  In the past, I’ve usually set up a big and special dinner with friends wherever I am.  I don’t know how exactly I’ll do that this time: my friends are scattered in different places and the logistics of planning a big dinner seems a bit stressful this month.  While I might try for something special, I think I’ll reach out individually to my friends and enjoy their presence (and possibly presents, but I’m less interested in that) wherever I can.  It doesn’t matter where you are and who you’re with, it’s always possible to make an occasion special with the right mindset.

As an aside, remember when I started coming up with a parody song two years ago?  I completed it over a year ago but previously forgot to post it.  Enjoy the belated fruits of my labor!:

On the twelfth day of Christmas the state disclosed to me;

Twelve cups of coffee;

Eleven new indictments

Ten continued hearings;

Nine filed motions;

Eight electric candles;

Seven cows a-pooping;

Six months in jail;

Five plea bargains;

Four COVID spikes;

Three dashcam vids;

Two booster shots;

And a trial by a jury.

Fischberg Flashback 29: Aloha

Original date of post: December 23, 2013

…It’s over.

Even though I still mentally calculate prices in pounds, even though I still use words and phrases like “loo,” “quid,” and “the States,” and even though I still have the urge to grab some chips and a pint at a J.D. Wetherspoon (Quick note: This is a chain of pubs across England.  Each location has a unique name and the menu slightly varies, but the food and drink is always top-notch.) or a hot chocolate at Café Nero (the English Starbucks), there’s no use denying that my three months abroad have come and gone, leaving me with nothing but an immense wealth of memories, no end of stories, and the currency and stamp collections I have officially started.

With the conclusion of my travels, all that is left for me is to finish up my official record of them: this blog.  Because this blog has been a borderline major factor in my life for nearly four months, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how best to wrap this thing up.  To keep things simple, yet appropriate, I’ve decided to finish my blog by going back to its beginning.  In my very first blog post, I wrote about why I was going abroad, why I was writing a blog, and what I was expecting.  As such, it’s only appropriate that my last blog post fill focus on how my expectations were met, what I thought about life abroad, and how I feel about officially being a blogger this semester.

One of the main reasons I decided to study in London was that it played into my academic specialty: political history.  Because England has been so influential on the world stage for centuries, I hoped that my studies there would provide me with all kinds of new facts and perspectives.  In the end, I didn’t get quite what I was expecting…but it was a triumph nevertheless in this department!  Rather than learning about England’s history on a large scale per se, I learned about the evolution of the British system of government, the history of London throughout the ages, and about the history of the European Union from my classes.  Though this wasn’t quite what I expected, it was all still amazing and fed into my interests all the same.  Though I haven’t received my full grades yet, the fact that I got As on all my assignments and smiley faces on my two Shakespeare quizzes is proof that I was certainly interested enough to work hard and that I learned plenty.

The side activity that I was looking forward to most in England was the now infamous Criminal Justice Pilgrimage.  As with academics, this has also been a triumph: I walked through Whitechapel, took a trip to Tyburn, watched a murder trial at the Old Bailey, saw the Scottish Maiden, and wandered through more places of execution than you can shake a fasces at.  By the end of my trip, I had formally documented visits to the Tower of London, Scotland Yard, British Parliament, Scottish Parliament, 221B Baker Street, the Old Bailey, the Royal Courts of Justice, Lincoln’s Inn Field, the dungeons of Edinburgh Castle, the Mercat Cross of Edinburgh, Smithfield, the Giltspur Street Compter, Newgate, London Bridge, Warwick Castle, Whitechapel, the Clink, Tower Hill, the London Dungeon, the Banqueting House of Whitehall, and Tyburn (I’m getting all nostalgic just typing this up…).  Have you enjoyed this white text?  I don’t have anything gory to say, I just felt like using this trick one last time.  In other words, I saw everything I meant to see, and then some!

Without a doubt, the most notable impact that this whole journey has had on me was neither academic nor tied to the macabre: rather, while abroad, I achieved undoubtedly the greatest degree of independence I have ever had.  Every night, I was more or less responsible for feeding myself-no parents, no dining hall.  I experimented with the Tube and other methods of transportation and planned out most of my excursions in great detail ahead of time.  I took chances and tried new things, from fish to scotch.  I know that to many people this may seem trivial, but to me, it’s quite a big deal.  I have tasted the sweet sap of independence-who would have thought that an American would find independence in Britain?  I expect to step up my independence more soon…after a few weeks in the loving control of my parents.

Well, that’s pretty much all I have to say regarding my travels abroad!  The only loose end I have left to tie up (aside from the jingly bells I discussed many posts ago-I returned them to AHA) is this blog itself: namely, by examining my original motivations to blog and coming to a conclusion (I’m sorry if this seems tedious, but part of me doesn’t want this blog to end and I’m kind of stalling at the moment.)!

1.  My first reason for writing was to appease my sometimes large ego.  When I look back on all these blog entries I’ve cranked out over the months, I feel an immense sense of pride.  Therefore, I consider it a success in that department (although I sometimes worry that my ego has gotten bigger as of late…).

2.  My second objective was to provide informative and entertaining updates on my adventures for family, friends, and creepy stalkers alike.  I feel that I’ve been very forthcoming with information (and may have actually provided a little too much information at times) and was able to stay current with my constant updates (38 in total--39 now.).  Whether or not this blog was sufficiently entertaining is up to you, dear reader.

3.  The final objective of this blog was to create a definitive record of this journey that I could look back on in years to come.  I think I’ve jotted down all my memories and thrown in plenty of pictures, so I’d have to say this is fairly definitive.  Also, the various little jokes and pop culture references I’ve made give a excellent insight into my mindset/maturity level at this point in my life, which should be useful to myself and anyone with a burning desire to profile 20-year-old nerds.  I hope you are satisfied, 50-year-old Benjamin Fischberg.

All in all, I’d have to say that this blog has been quite successful over the months, and frankly, I’ve had quite a lot of fun writing it!  As a result of this newfound enjoyment of blogging, and in part thanks to persuasion from a few regular readers, I’ve decided to continue blogging!…once I have something exciting to write about.  Given that the upcoming year of 2014 will feature writing my thesis and endeavors to achieve more independence, so I should have plenty of adventures to write about in the not-too-distant future…

So, there you have it!  Three months of adventures, excitement, and observations, coupled with a blog recording it all, have now officially come to a close.  The results of all this adventuring consist of personal growth, continued academic excellence (I still need to keep that ego in check), a whole lot of criminal justice-inspired pride, no end of fun memories, and several newfound hobbies, blogging chief among them.  I can definitively say, without fear of contradiction, that this has been the incredible journey of a lifetime, a major success, and something I will never forget.  Thank you, everyone, for following, supporting, and (hopefully) enjoying Fisch and Chips!  I couldn’t have done this without you all!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a craving for some fish and chips.

Reflections:

There's not much to add here that I haven't already said.  I hope y'all have enjoyed this look into ten years ago.  I certainly have!  Happy Holidays!

Fischberg Flashback 28: Straight Outta Eastcote

Original date of post: December 16, 2013

I’m home!

As I post this, I’m sitting on my own bed, where I first started writing this blog three months ago.  It’s been a crazy past few thirty hours or so, filled with all manners of travel, but I’ve finally made it back to my homeland, where I will need to rest in the wake of this amazing adventure.

This finale began when I woke up early in the morning, ate a hasty breakfast, put the final touches on my packing, and said my goodbyes.  I said goodbye to my host mother, to Eastcote, to the airport bathroom condom machines (yep, they’re still there), and to London itself as I rode into Heathrow Airport, breezed past security, and boarded my return flight to the U.S. of A.

The first leg of my journey home was a grueling 10-hour flight from London to L.A.  And how did I pass the time on this long-@$$ flight?  Sleeping (which I desperately need)?  Gaming?  Reading?  None of the above--I hunkered down and watched the entire Dark Knight trilogy!  What better way to say, “Welcome back to America!” than 7.5 hours of Batman?

After that not-so-little flight, I breezed past customs and immigration and prepared for my next flight, enjoying some fattening American food while waiting (it’s good to be back!).  My second flight was short, and it felt even shorter, as I don’t remember most of it.  This may have mostly to do with the fact that I nodded off for about three hours.

Whatever the case, I soon found myself back in the Aloha State, where temperatures are warm and long pants are unnecessary.  Greeted by my warm and loving parents with hugs and a lei, I let out a long exhalation of relief.  The work, the traveling, the unfamiliarity, everything remotely stressful--for now, they’re gone.  Now is the time for relaxation.

Like Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, I have finally arrived in my hometown after an extended period away, having absorbed amazing life experiences and trained with the League of Shadows (OK, that last part may not be true…may not).  What sorts of experiences have I truly taken away from all this?  I’ll be glad to share!…in a while.  First, I need to do something I haven’t done in a long time: sleep to my heart’s content, with absolutely no alarms to disturb my rest.  I’ll spend the next two weeks or so sorting everything out, putting it down, and organizing it into one final blog post.

Stay tuned for the kind of-sort of-not really dramatic conclusion of Fisch and Chips!

Modern reflections:

There are few feelings as amazing as coming home after three months away.  No matter how fun the adventure, the sheer feeling of relaxation that washes over you when you're back in your own bed is truly one in a million.  Bonus points if your home is in a warm place and you've just left a cold place in winter.

Aside from watching the Dark Knight Trilogy (three of my all-time favourite movies) back to back, the flight was memorable for the food options.  I requested the vegetarian option (as my pescatarianism was still in development) and it turned out to be a selection of curried vegetables.  I'm usually adverse to curry and spicy things in general, but I found it somewhat palatable (albeit with a lot of added salt).  I picked up three things from this experience: (1) my palate is constantly changing, (2) there are few things salt can't make better, and (3) when I'm hungry, I become much more agreeable to diverse foods.  All these lessons have stayed with me throughout my travels and cooking experiments.

Fischberg Flashback 27: Eye for an Eye

Original date of post: December 13, 2013

Packing?  What packing?  Oh, that packing!  Er…it shouldn’t be too hard.  It certainly hasn’t kept me from enjoying myself last night and today!

Last night, I went to the pub for the possibly last time (though I probably will go again tonight) with a large percentage of my fellow AHA students.  It was a wonderfully emotional final get-together, complete with drinks, reminiscence, Cards Against Humanity, and lots of hugs.  In case any of them are reading this night, thank you for the wonderful memories this semester!

Today, I decided to take one final excursion out into the urban jungle of London.  There was one thing I had been meaning to do for the last three months…ride the London Eye!

Retreading old ground by passing Parliament and crossing the Thames, I finally came face-to-face with this famous Ferris wheel on the South Bank.  The ticket was a tad expensive, but the view could not be beat.  I’ll let the pictures I took speak for me:

On my way back to Eastcote, I stopped in at a Café Nero for the presumably last time, feeling wistful as I consumed a large hot chocolate.  This wistfulness continued as I took the Picadilly Line home for the presumably last time.  I truly have been a lucky guy to have had London as my playground for the last three months.  That being said, I’m more than ready to head on home…once I’ve finished packing (déjà vu…see my first two blog entries to see what I mean).

One last thing: Remember the London Dungeon from four posts ago?  Well, it turns out its new location is right by the London Eye, so I nabbed myself a selfie.  NOW, I think I’m done with the CJP.

Modern reflections:

As much as it seems like a tourist trap, the London Eye was definitely a worthy site to see.  In a semester filled with climbing various tall buildings, it felt nice to wrap it up with an experience where a machine did the climbing and gave me a truly tremendous view.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to have one more night at the pub, as the nearby pub actually started carding people at the door that night and didn't accept my student ID as valid proof.  At least my last pub outing was a social experience with friends!

I haven't mentioned it in any flashback posts, but Café Nero is a chain of Italian-style coffee houses that is basically the English equivalent of Starbucks.  They have good coffee, great hot chocolate, excellent mochas, and outstanding chocolate-covered coffee beans (which I was constantly seen snacking on in the University Center).

For those wondering why the formatting looks a little weird compared to the last few posts, it's because I've decided to transition from double spaced to 1.5 spaced to be more in line with my usual single-spaced blog posts.  I'll likely use 1.5 spacing as my standard from here on out on all blog posts.

Man About Town

Surprise!  I’m still writing blog posts here in the present!  For the past four months, I’ve been posting old blog posts from last decade due to little of note happening in my current professional life (that I’m allowed to discuss).  However, that changed in the past few weeks as I’ve turned my focus to out-of-court Tillamook.

Though I’ve lived in Tillamook for four years, I’ve spent relatively little time in the town where I live and practice.  Most of my time in town is spent at work, and most of my free time tends to be out-of-county (either visiting Cthulhu in Salem or vacationing on Oahu).  I spent a lot of free time in Tillamook County during the COVID pandemic, but I was isolated indoors for almost all that time.  I finally got my chance last weekend: due to a combination of hazardous weather on the roads and sickness in Cthulhu’s neighborhood, I was isolated in Tillamook County.  Seeing some opportunity, I decided to step out of my usual routines and check out what this humble town had to offer for sightseeing.

My first major sightseeing stop was the Tillamook County Pioneer Museum, a museum built out of Tillamook’s first courthouse mostly dedicated to local matters.  The fact that I hadn’t visited here sooner is noteworthy as it’s right across the street from the current Tillamook County Circuit Court.  This museum has been right under my nose for four years, but it’s mostly been off my radar.  Last year, when my parents visited Oregon, my father visited the museum and highly recommended it.  Now, it was time for me to see it for myself on one cloudy Saturday afternoon.

I could go through the museum exhibits in the order I visited them, but I think it makes more sense to go down thematically.  Aside from an exhibit on Abraham Lincoln and a Victorian bedroom replica (located in Tillamook County’s first District Attorney office), the upper floor of the museum is dedicated to natural history, containing rocks, minerals, fossils, preserved butterflies, and taxidermized animals (especially those found in Oregon).

Meanwhile, the ground floor of the museum is mostly dedicated to human history in Tillamook and its surrounding areas, ranging from indigenous tribes to the founding of Tillamook County as a county of Oregon.  Part of this involved detailed descriptions of individual settlers and their families who shaped Tillamook as the agricultural community it is today.  Overall, there were two main takeaways from looking over Tillamook’s human history.  First, I noticed that many settlers followed a similar pattern: they were usually born on the East Coast, they traveled west for job/fortune prospects, they landed in modern-day Tillamook County because of opportunities that suddenly sprang up, and after years of work, they usually traveled to other places as fortunes took them.  In other words, their journey mirrored my own!  Like them, I was born on the East Coast (New York City, to be exact), I moved out west to find my fortune (my family went to Hawaii for job purposes, and I arrived in Oregon to seek higher education), I came to Tillamook because of an opening in Tillamook County’s public defense needs, and I will likely leave Tillamook when my fortunes change and new opportunities arise.  In that way, I feel comforted that I do belong here, as I’ve walked the path of many of Tillamook’s most distinctive citizens.

The second takeaway is that Tillamook’s first white settler (and first schoolteacher/county clerk), who was awesomely named Joseph Champion, spent his early days in the area living out of a hollowed-out tree stump, like a kind of educated forest troll.

You thought I was joking about the stump?  Nope!  The museum has a replica and photos of Joe Champion's "Castle," as he was known to call it.

There was one other exciting part of the Pioneer Museum that deserves describing.  Located in what used to be Tillamook’s first county jail was a wide collection of guns, ranging from early muskets to modern semi-automatic rifles.  Being a firearm history enthusiast (due to my love of history and Red Dead Redemption), I snapped several shots of some of my faves!

The next day, I sought out Tillamook’s other major landmark I’ve been meaning to see: the Tillamook Creamery!  If you’re like most people, you most likely associate “Tillamook” with cheddar cheese and ice cream.  That’s thanks to the Tillamook Creamery, one of the largest employers in Tillamook County.  Aside from being the place where they mix ice cream and cut the cheese (ha ha), the Tillamook Creamery has a small museum that goes over what goes into making dairy products and provides an overview of the area’s history.  While not as detailed or gun-filled as the Pioneer Museum, this offered another nice look into what makes this county tick.  I’d been here before fourteen years ago when visiting with my parents, but it was good to see it for myself as a current resident of the Dairylands.  Furthermore, the Tillamook Creamery has a MASSIVE store area where you can buy just about every flavor of cheese, ice cream, and yogurt you could desire, including those not found on many store shelves.  I have a hunch I might need to come back here again…

Tillamook Creamery

Tillamook Crematory, which has absolutely nothing to do with the Tillamook Creamery, but is close to where I work

 

Such was my weekend of exploration in Tillamook County.  It turns out you can have a lot of fun if you take the time to explore the small town you’re living in, even if it takes you years to get around to it.  I’ll keep my eyes open for other things to do around town as time goes by.  In the meantime, I’ve got two other local aspects I’ll be sure to milk: I’ve found the nearest liquor store (quick note for non-Oregonians: it is illegal under Oregon law to sell anything stronger than wine at grocery stores, so if you want primo rum, gin, or vodka, you need to find a specialized location) and I got a local library card (which took a surprising amount of difficulty to get due to my driver’s license being issued prior to moving to Tillamook).  With booze and books, my free time here is sure to continue being interesting!

Fischberg Flashback 26: Go West, Young Man

Original date of post: December 8, 2013.  As per usual, minor changes have been made.

Alright, readers.  This blog post is going to prominently feature capital punishment-namely, that of the noose-and-gallows variety.  So be ready to highlight some white text if you plan on…hanging around. *rimshot*

…Wow, that was bad.  Please excuse my nasty sense of…gallows humor. *rimshot*

Ack, I’m sorry for being so knotty!  I promise that I’ve got good noose!  Gibbet?

*gunshot*

O…OK, I promise I’ll stop now.  Anyway, you have been warned!

Anyhoo, this weekend has been going quite well for me.  I finished up my final paper for theater class (and the program in general!) and my finals are looking manageable.  I’ve made arrangements to go to the airport and even packing doesn’t look like it’ll be too much of a hassle.  As such, I decided to relax a bit this afternoon and head on over to Hyde Park with my comrade T.  Our primary objective for the day was to observe one of London’s most peculiar traditions, orators speaking at Speakers’ Corner!  Every Sunday, at around 12:30, people from all across the London area gather at this little space and will deliver loud and incendiary speeches about politics and religion.  Today was no exception, for when T and I entered the park, there was a full-scale argument going on between a Christian preacher and a militant person who believed that all religions are the work of Satan.  Both parties were constantly referring to each other as being possessed by demons and an American in a cowboy hat embroidered with a gold cross joined the fray, using a rubber chicken and a loud whistle to great effect.  It was…quite the sight to behold.  In all honest, this display of religious fervor was much more intense than anything I had seen in the United States (outside of the movie Jesus Camp).

After that…theological discussion, T and I scoured out the other main point of interest in Hyde Park (for me, at any rate): Tyburn, the final stop on my Criminal Justice Pilgrimage!

Observant readers of this blog (or at least ones who read my first post four months ago) may remember that I mentioned the Tyburn Tree, but only teased about what it was.  Well, as this blog comes closer to an end, here is the answer (in all its white glory): Tyburn was a suburb of the City of London that was a major place of execution.  The main gallows of the London area was the Tyburn Tree, a specially built triangular gallows that could be used to hang twenty-four convicts at once.  During the European Renaissance and Georgian Period, dozens of men and women throughout London were taken here and forced to dance the Tyburn jig, as it were.  These ranged from legitimate monsters, such as Jonathan Wild, and (supposedly) loveable rogues, such as Jack Sheppard, to Catholics convicted of heresy and poor working-class souls convicted of what would be considered petit larceny today.  The public hangings were always huge spectacles that attracted large crowds, especially during the procession from Newgate Gaol to Tyburn, where the cart carrying the condemned would stop at several pubs along the way.  By the time most convicts reached the Triple Tree, they were drunk off their @$$es (still, many of them gave impressive last speeches to the spectators, leading to the tradition of Speakers’ Corner in this area).  Eventually, as more and more working-class people were executed for theft, the crowds became rowdier and even cheering for the condemned, which is not exactly what authorities want in a public execution.  Fearing a potential riot, the authorities dismantled the constable’s picture frame in 1783 and moved all executions by hanging to Newgate Gaol.  Today, the only indication of this once-notorious gibbet is a simple inscription in the pavement of a (appropriately triangular) traffic island just off of Hyde Park.  As with Tower Green and Tower Hill, I paused a moment here and reflected somberly that I was now standing in a place where so many had ended their days at the end of a rope.  This felt oddly emphasized by the fact that the traffic island is triangular in shape, just like the three-legged stool (Yes, these phrases I’ve been using are actual euphemisms for the Tyburn Tree).

We both had plenty of fun out today, but T decided it was time to go home.  As for me, I still wanted to see this green oasis in the urban desert, so I took a pleasant walk across Hyde Park until I arrived at a Tube station in the southeast corner of the park (the name of the Tube stop is “Hyde Park Corner;”  I wonder how long it took to think up that one).  The park was all manners of green and orange and felt quite peaceful (outside of Speakers’ Corner, that is), reminding me of Central Park in my hometown of New York.  It was certainly the sensation of tranquility I needed after all this work and before all these finals!

And with that, my Criminal Justice Pilgrimage comes to a conclusion.  What better place to end a criminal-related pilgrimage than a place where so many criminals ended up/came to an end?

*gunshot*

Sorry!  Anyway, all that’s left is a few classes and finals.  I probably won’t have much to write in the meantime.  May Fortune favor me…

One final thing: In case you were wondering what the pun in the title of this entry is, “going west” was a euphemism for being hanged, as the procession from Newgate to Tyburn was indeed west (Tyburn itself being west of the City of London).  It also hints at what I’ll being doing in six days via airplane…

Modern reflections:

Here's a really memorable trip!  Not only was Speakers' Corner quite the memory in and of itself, but Tyburn was a trip I had been eager for all autumn (unlike most people who took a trip there).  I actually started writing parts of this post (specifically the humorous opening and the description of the Tyburn Tree) over a month before my excursion.  Happily, it lived up to my expectations.