Conferences, Colds, and Campaigns

 

Another month, another series of events.  After hail-filled April, I expected/hoped that May would be a much calmer month.  While the weather was certainly nicer in May, the month was something of a roller coaster that I’m still getting in order.  Hopefully, writing about it will keep me organized…and sane.

The first big thing of the month was the OCDLA (Oregon Criminal Defense Lawyer Association) annual juvenile law conference.  While I do not specialize in juvenile law, it is a pertinent area for me to brush up on.  Best of all, I got to spend time in beautiful Newport, Oregon, complete with gorgeous beaches!

 

Check out this lovely beachfront view!

…OK, so the weather wasn’t exactly beachworthy.  Still, this conference was a nice break from the usual routine.  When I wasn’t listening to lectures, getting depressed about the troubled teen industry, or trying to network, I enjoyed the amenities of the hotel, which featured some truly amazing food!

 

Am I really posting photos of food on my blog?

Yes.  Yes, I am.  The food was that good.

Looks like I may have a bright future in blogging food porn in the future!

Unfortunately, for every positive, there is a negative.  After driving back down from Newport and steeling myself for another week of work, I woke up the next day feeling sick beyond belief.  Given that the COVID-19 pandemic has still not ended (people: get. your. shots. already.), I was naturally a little anxious.  Thankfully, since a lot of my work is on a database I can access from my home laptop, I was able to work from home, calling in whenever I was needed for a court appearance.  In other good news, I tested negative for COVID, so this ended up just being a minor cold (albeit one that left me feeling in shambles).  I just had to wait it out, spending a week recovering, working, and voting by mail in the local elections.

For those not in the know, Oregon conducts all its elections by mail.  While not always perfect, it’s a pretty good system.  You don’t have to completely readjust your schedule, you don’t have to deal with crowds, and you can take any time needed to research the candidates and initiatives on your ballot.  This month’s election was relatively sedate on my end; nothing particularly scandalous happened here in Tillamook County.  The same can’t be said everywhere else; in one other county, a hotly contested race saw an unpleasant incident where a candidate was attacked for–*gasp*–having connections to defense attorneys (and therefore having ties with criminals).  Isn’t it wonderful knowing that, thanks to my work, I’m a convenient bogeyman for public servants to spit on and attack? J

A week of bedrest later, I’m fit as a fiddle and ready to resume regular working.  After the relaxation afforded by conference and a truly wretched week, it’s time to jump back into the fray, buckle down, and continue doing a job that gets me vilified in popular elections.  Tally ho!

What the Hail?

Ah, April, that wonderful month where winter’s snow melts into spring’s clear water; where showers of varying intensity bring next month’s flowers to bloom; where…hail…covers the ground in Oregon.

April Fools!

This may be the same parking lot, but this photo was taken about two weeks after the first one.

Yeah, that’s hail.  It hailed several times in April this year.  Proof of impending disastrous climate change or just a regular month in Oregon?  You make the call!

While this month certainly had…interesting weather, it also saw a surprising return to normalcy; court has (mostly) done away with video appearances, and everything is back to being in person.  While it honestly feels like this is a step backwards in some regards (appearing by video was extremely convenient and fulfilled its purpose), I must admit; being in court all the time does have a certain charm to it.  With any luck, this will reflect the pandemic finally winding down and life reaching the same level of opportunity as pre-March 2020.

April’s showers bring May flowers, they say.  Hopefully, April’s hail will bring May freedom, fun, and awesome f***ing flowers. :)

Cthuluau

 

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn to months, and months go by, but relatively little changes in the world of criminal defense.  I continue to receive and resolve cases, trials approach only to be delayed at the last minute, and I’m constantly bouncing between clients who are mad at me and clients who are thankful for my work.  As much as I like my job, there’s only so much one can take without a break from it all.  This month, I finally got just the break I needed.  Best of all, it was alongside my sweetheart/partner in (researching) crime, Cthulhu!

To be specific, Cthulhu and I were bound for Hawaii, the sun-drenched island chain where I grew up and where my parents still live.  The last time I had visited Hawaii was September 2019, before I officially became an attorney (and started this blog).  This marked the first time I visited Hawaii and hugged my parents as a practicing attorney.  It can be jarring to look at things this way and realize just how quickly time can pass.  Still, regardless of time, occupation, or global pandemic, some things stay the same.  Cthulhu and I spent our time doing a lot of what we usually do in Hawaii: swimming, going to the beach, and playing Red Dead Redemption 2.

It wasn’t all fun in the sun and virtual cowboying, though.  One think Cthulhu and I ventured out to do was hit up the Hawaii Cat Café to enjoy some coffee in the presence of kitties.  With Christmas Cat back in Oregon, it was a great way to de-stress and get some feline-induced relaxation vibes.  It was definitely a great addition to the vacation itinerary and contributed to the overall feeling of relaxation.

SO

MANY

KITTIES!

Most of our non-cat relaxation was low-key.  There was however one other major excursion of note: near the end of vacation, Cthulhu and I hit up Kailua Beach to soak up some rays and try something neither of us had done in a while—building sandcastles.  With little more than a bucket and our imagination, we eventually created a gorgeous folly known as Kailossus.

Behold!

A close up with more details.

The drainage pond at Kailossus, which helped the castle withstand flooding experiments.

How we left Kailossus, to be discovered and enjoyed by others.

However, like all good things, vacation eventually came to an end.  And so, I made my return to Tillamook, where the air is laced with manure and the prosecutors are packing heat (in Tillamook County, prosecutors are deputized by the Sheriff’s Office, meaning they have issued sidearms).  I picked an interesting time to come back, too: Oregon has now removed almost all mask mandates, meaning that life is taking a massive step back to normal.  Work is picking up already, but I’m energized and ready to go thanks to the rest and relaxation I got in Hawaii (along with some reassurance that the pandemic is winding down).  Aloha, Hawaii; it was wonderful as always.  Now, it’s time for me to leap back into the jurisprudential fray!

Postscript 1: Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day, everyone!  Even at 29, I know that you need to wear green to get in the spirit/avoid pinches.  My wardrobe that day took that into account.

Postscript 2: another low-key adventure was trying Parmesan ice cream.  It is way, way better than you think it might be, and I cannot recommend it enough. :)

Party Like You're Turning Twenty-Nine

Two months in, and I’ve already hit the new year running!  The past few weeks have been extremely busy, being packed with new cases, court hearings, and jury trial preparations (some of which were for trials that resolved at the last second—it happens).  It doesn’t appear that 2022 will make things easy for an apprentice attorney.  Fortunately, 2 years in the legal profession have prepared me for the challenges of lawyering, and I won’t start backing down now!

Among the hodgepodge of hearings, case reviews, jail visits, and constant phone calls that compose the day-to-day life of an attorney, I’ve gone through the typical milestones of each year.  Namely, I survived my birthday in January and endured Valentine’s Day/Singles’ Awareness Day in February.  Normally, these would both be joyous days spent with loved ones and fattening food.  Unfortunately for me (though somewhat fortunate for my blood sugar levels), both celebrations had to be put on hold when they came around for 2 reasons: (1) there is still a pandemic sweeping across the world and (2) duty calls when you’re a lawyer.  Safety and work obligations alike kept me busy through the early 2022 holidays.  Some people might see this as a major bummer, but I’ve gotten used to delayed gratification being all the sweeter when other priorities rise.  Sure enough, I made sure to enjoy late celebrations with Cthulhu and Christmas Cat when freer weekends came up.  Furthermore, I made sure to enjoy plenty of cake and chocolate pasta (my new indulgence of choice) between social interactions and rounds of Kourtal Kombat.  Holidays are just dates on a calendar; living in a celebratory mindset is a way of life!

 

CAKE!

  

CHOCOLATE PASTA!

 

MORE CHOCOLATE PASTA!!

With another birthday come and gone (and a few pounds presumably added to my body weight), I am now 29 years old.  Not only is 2022 the newest (and hopefully final) year of the COVID-19 pandemic, but it marks the final year of my 20s.  Honestly, this has been weirdly sobering and has caused me to make a host of reflections on my life and the decisions I’ve made up until now.  Fortunately, I am happy with my current position and have few regrets.  I’ve worked hard, I’ve got a stable job, and while my social life could be more exciting, I’ve managed to make things work.  This reflection on my growth is further complicated by COVID-19, as the pandemic continues to be on the forefront of my mind (I recently lost a colleague to the virus, which was a shocking blow for many in my professional community).  As such, I’ve redoubled my efforts to stay safe and take precautions to protect those around me.  At the same time, the last years has somewhat lit an adventurous spark in me.  Thanks to this pandemic, I’ve had to confront my own mortality more so than in the past.  I only live once (that I know of), and I could theoretically pass away any day, be it through disease, a car crash, or an @$$hole’s bullet.  As a result, I’ve somewhat committed to live life to the fullest every day: there’s a lot of conventions this year that I want to go to (but likely won’t to be safe), I eat cake all the time, I’ll never again turn down a soft pretzel, I’ve resolved to play more video games, and I intend to continue spending every weekend with Cthulhu that I can.  These senses of responsible safety and memento mori/YOLO seem to be at odds, but I hope to strike the appropriate balance.  As I move forward as a 29-year-old manchild, I’ll be sure to suck the marrow out of life while taking care not to choke on any bones or get into fights with hungry bearded vultures/furious Marowaks.

 

One thing that hasn't changed with my age: my penchant for tie-dye fashion, even if it takes new forms. :)

2021, We Hardly Knew Ye

Happy New Year, readers and stalkers!  Welcome to the newest season of Benjamin Fischberg: A[pprenti]ce Attorney!  It’s a new year; what better way to kick it off than with a new blog entry?

The remainder of 2021 was emblematic of life in general for a criminal defense attorney: equal parts stress and relief.  I had several trials set over the course of December.  Due to the massive backlog the court was facing (and some continued COVID-related problems), only 1 was able to proceed to completion.  The remainders were moved back a few months, where they would be problems for 2022 Benjamin to deal with.  Conversely, 2021 Benjamin was able to take some breathers over December, steeling his resolve for 2022 (when not talking about himself in the third person).

Along with these respites from work, the conclusion to 2021 saw some other splashes of joy to round things out.  With the holiday season upon us, Christmas cheer filled the air (alongside a small amount of Hannukah cheer left over from later November).  Like many people, I spent my Christmas with loved ones; specifically, Cthulhu down in Salem.  However, Cthulhu wasn’t the only one warming my heart then and there; Cthulhu also had a brand-new kitten (whom I will be referring to as Christmas Cat to preserve its privacy)!  I spent most of Christmas day with Christmas Cat on my lap purring contentedly with Cthulhu hugging me from the side (in other words: Best.  Christmas.  Ever).  The only thing nicer than spending Christmas this way was spending New Year’s Eve this way, as I of course returned the very next week.  Between the lovely kitty cuddles, I also managed to find enough time (and outmaneuvered the increasingly harsh weather) to hit up Tillamook’s only movie theater to see Spider-Man: No Way Home, the best movie I’ve seen in a while.  Regardless of how rough the year got for me, it was nice to round it out with a few weeks of leisure, pleasure, and feline affection. :)

 

My first meeting with Christmas Cat.

After some bonding, Christmas Cat was comfortable enough using me as its personal grooming bathtub.

 

 

A sign in the Tillamook Coliseum Theater.  It's always good to keep a sense of humor in the face of crisis.

The Christmas tree in the lobby of the Tillamook Coliseum Theater.  Two years after The Rise of Skywalker, they still know how to rock Star Wars decorations.

 

And on that cheerful note, the year 2021 has come and gone.  With 2022 already here, the potential is great for this year.  What will this year bring?  Hopefully, this year will see continued professional growth, more blogging, and no insurrections to destabilize the government.  May the year be fruitful to us all!

(As a little bonus, here’s the rough draft of a song I started composing in my head around Christmas time.  I hope to refine and finish it by next Christmas.)

 

On the ninth day of Christmas the state disclosed to me;

Ten continued hearings;

Nine filed motions;

Eight electric candles;

Seven cows a-pooping;

Six months in jail;

Five plea bargains;

Four discovery disks;

Three COVID spikes;

Two booster shots;

And a trial by a jury.

Anniversaries Aplenty

 

Ahoy, readers!  After an informal hiatus (yet again), I’m back to post!  When I started this blog, I wasn’t planning to take this long to write individual posts.  Since most of my life these days revolves around confidential work, I haven’t had anything interesting that I can share.  However, as December 2021 rolls around, I’m coming up on several major milestones that I thought were worth reflecting on through writing.  So, with the new year coming up, let’s look to the past and see how far I’ve come.

First, there’s the obvious one: as of October 3, I have now officially been a lawyer for 2 whole years!  Though my swearing into the Oregon State Bar was 2 Octobers ago, it still feels like only 2 months since I took the oath, pinned on my shiny new Oregon State Bar lapel pin, and immediately started panicking about finding a job in the oversaturated legal market.  Two years later, I’m running a small law office and haven’t been disbarred; I guess I’m doing something right!

A photo of me solemnly taking the oath needed to be admitted to the bar.

A not-very-solemn photo of me showing off my new lapel pin.  I still have this pin and wear it from time to time, but I've now got a collection I like to cycle through.

 

On a less dry note, October saw a very lovely anniversary; I have now been in a relationship with Cthulhu for 6 years!  Our relationship has seen some interesting obstacles throughout the years: we’ve both gone through law school and spent over a year separated by COVID-19 distancing requirements.  Despite these challenges, our relationship remains strong as ever; I till take the time to see them in Salem, Oregon every weekend, taking an hour and a half to get there (it used to be 2–3 hours, but some road work completion has made it a shorter journey).  I look forward to many more years of hitting up farmers’ markets together, enjoying our usual haunts together, playing video games together, and bonding over our law-dominated lives. :)

Speaking of the 1.5-hour journey, I celebrated my 2-year anniversary with Tillamook County this November.  As a city kid at heart born in New York City, raised partially in the suburbs of Kailua, and educated in Salem, Oregon, moving to a completely rural area isn’t something I predicted happening in my lifetime.  Nonetheless, I’ve now spent 2 years in the Dairylands, including an entire year where I was restricted from leaving thanks to COVID restrictions.  I’ve had my share of adjusting over the months; I no longer notice the faint smell of manure in the air, I’m used to seeing cows urinating/defacating/humping at the side of the road, and no longer feel conscious about being the only person in a suit as I walk down the street.  I don’t know how much longer I’ll be in Tillamook, but I have no doubt that I’ll continue to see new things (especially now that the COVID-19 pandemic is winding down) and stepping out of my comfort zone.

One thing I’ll continue to do in coming months is representing clients in court, which I have now been doing for 2 years.  While there are times where I still feel like a rookie, I’ve changed over time.  I’ve gone from misdemeanors and probation violations to major felonies over the course of 24 months (though I have yet to come even close to a murder case).  I’ve gotten much more confident with time; I no longer get phased by hostile clients, even when they’re yelling slurs at me over the phone.  I’ve seen convictions, acquittals, and a whole lot of plea negotiations.  The ebb and flow of court procedures has taken getting used to, but, like living in Tillamook, I’ve done a fair amount of adjusting.  No matter how tough things get, I don’t back down, I keep a strong smile on my face, and I keep up the good fight—defending the guilty, protecting the innocent, and sticking it to the man.

Finally, there’s one anniversary that I can’t help but bring up here.  The blog you are reading—Benjamin Fischberg: A[pprenti]ce Attorney—is now 2 years old.  This is a longer blog than I’ve written before; my prior blogs only covered a few months each (shameless plug: http://benfinlondon.blogspot.com/2013/08/theresa-half-packed-suitcase-in-my.html http://benfinsalem.blogspot.com/2014/04/here-we-go-again.html).  This blog has been a bit different in another major way; I haven’t had that many adventures to write about.  Part of this is due to the confidential nature of my work, and part of this is being housebound for over a year due to COVID.  I’ve wanted to write more, but it’s been hard to find the time to write and things to write about.  Still, I plan to keep up when I can and write as much as I am able.  To close off this vague promise to be better, here’s the return of an old feature:

 

GREAT MOMENTS IN TILLAMOOK JURISPRUDENCE

*insert sophisticated music*

Episode VII: Accusations from the Accused

Judge: Have you reviewed this petition with your lawyer?

Client: Yes.

J: Has Mr. Fischberg answered all your questions?

C: Yes, he has.

J: Have you had any problems with his representation?

C: Actually, yeah; he cheated me out of a thousand bucks.

*beat*

C: *breaks into huge smile* Nah, I’m just kidding; he was great.  No problems with his representation.

[court hearing continues and concludes with no further difficulties]

 

Hair

 

Hello, everyone; your favorite blogging lawyer (I hope) is back with a new entry!  I would write more often, but relatively little has happened in my life for the past 3 months (at least, little that I can legally or ethically write about).  The most notable thing to mention is that the COVID-19 pandemic has flared up again here in Tillamook County.  In part thanks to some people insisting on not getting vaccinated, there have been several deaths in the county, a few government workers got sick, and the court has resumed everything by video.  My trials are therefore getting pushed back yet again, my parents had to cancel a long-awaited visit, and I once again find myself in splendid isolation (though I have been able to eat at restaurants on occasion and visit Cthulhu on weekends).  Grrrr, lousy pandemic…

Alright, I don’t want to focus on the negative; time to get positive!  A lot of the troubles I had in June have now been resolved thanks to some hard work and a little bit of luck.  I also hit some milestones in my career, trying my first felony trial this summer.  However, the arguably biggest change I recently underwent was, of all things, finally getting a haircut.  Before the pandemic hit, my hair was already a little on the long side (for me, anyway).  Just when I was getting ready for a new haircut, I found myself staying at home and yadda yadda yadda, 18 months without a haircut went by.

 

Pictured: results of 18 months without a haircut

When the pandemic first started showing signs of receding, I thought I would finally have my chance to get a prompt haircut.  Unfortunately, car troubles and overbooked barber shops conspired to keep my hair long and shaggy up until late July.  Delays and complications overcome, I finally got my long-awaited haircut and ended my tenure as a scruffy-looking nerf herder.

 

That's better.

You might be asking, “if you got a haircut in July, why did you wait until now to write about it?”  Well, hypothetical reader who is somehow interested in my mundane life, I wanted to give my hair a chance to grow in before showing it off for the interwebs (that and me constantly being busy/lazy).  Enjoy my new and fresh lawyer look!

 

Much better!

Random side-note 1: I recently got a nameplate for my office door.   Just looking at it makes me happy. :)

 

 

Random side-note 2: Rosh Hashanah caught me off guard this year.  Thankfully, my landlord has been recently keeping the kitchen regularly stocked with apples.  Shana Tova, everyone!