Fischberg Flashback 39: Mamma Mia!

Note: this was originally posted to Ben Around the Block on June 23, 2014.  I have made minor grammatical changes. 

Another week and weekend has come and gone.  As usual, there were new and interesting experiences that accompanied them: pizza-related ones this time!

After the jury trial on Tuesday, the rest of my week went smoothly, complete with work and occasional dinner with friends.  Because there’s a new employee in our office, a lot of my duties have become exponentially fewer and easier over the last few days.  On Friday, I even managed to scan an entire drawer full of closed case files and got to go home early!  Work’s getting easier and more pleasant in other ways: the bailiffs at the circuit court now address me by name and I’m on a first-name basis with the secretary at the DA’s office.  Furthermore, the attorneys were out of town on Thursday and Friday, so the office was fairly quiet and relaxed.  When not working, I’ve been watching movies (I recently finished The Godfather, Part II) and playing Mario Kart 8 (my favourite characters are Dick Cheney and Miles Edgeworth, both of whom are Miis on my Wii U).  All in all, it’s business and pleasure as usual.

OK, that’s that.  Pizza incidents time!

As previously mentioned, Thursday and Friday were quiet attorney-free days at the office.  To celebrate my fellow office workers decided to order in pizza for lunch on Thursday, which posed an interesting problem for me.  For those who don’t know me particularly well, I have a bit of a sensitive palate, and tomatoes are one thing that disagree with me.  As such, the only pizza I can really enjoy is white pizza (pizza without sauce).  I considerately tried the cheese pizza my supervisor had ordered, but the sauce was a little too strong and my tummy was mostly empty that lunch.  That didn’t stop me from kicking @$$ with those files, though.

With that pizza-related fiasco in recent memory, you’d think I’d avoid pizza for the rest of the week.  You are right!…I waited until Sunday, the beginning of the next week, to make my own pizza.  That’s right: using a recipe given to me by a friend, I was going to make some pizza of my own (white pizza, of course!…I feel like a weird pizza racist for saying that)!  This was bubble pizza, an unorthodox recipe that consisted of using biscuit dough for the crust, creating an awesome fluffy texture (not to be selfish, here’s the recipe: http://www.thetwobiteclub.com/2012/11/bubble-pizza.html Enjoy!).  I had spent earlier this week/weekend preparing and the cooking process went well.  Would it be to my liking?

It was!  I was really impressed with how delicious the whole experiment was.  True, it wasn’t exactly fancy, and I’m still no Julia Child, but all in all, the experiment was a success.  May more culinary success greet me in the future!

Well, I don’t have any major plans for this week, but I’m still hotly anticipating whatever is in store for me!

Incoming...transmissions...from...THE FUTURE:

The bubble pizza was one of several culinary successes over the summer, and I'm still proud of how I did on my first try.  I haven't tried this recipe for over a decade (I did make it a few more times over the summer), but the link is still good if you're interested in trying it (to try it Ben Fischberg-style, just leave out the pepperoni, sauce, and oregano; feel free to add anything you like if you're feeling adventurous).

I've gotten much better with eating tomatoes (especially raw), but tomato sauce still generally disagrees with me.

Fischberg Flashback 38: Five Angry Women and an Angry Man

Note: this was originally posted to Ben Around the Block on June 18, 2014.  I have made minor edits to correct grammar and preserve privacy.

(For the record, no, I have not seen Twelve Angry Men.  Please stop asking me that, various friends.) 

Behold: The Marion County Circuit Court!  This big white building serves all of Salem’s judicial needs, and is where I run a lot of errands as part of my job.  Yesterday, I got to spend all day there as opposed to the office in order to see something I had not before: an entire jury trial, from start to finish!

At around 8:30 yesterday, I met up with L [actual name redacted], one of the attorneys down at the Public Defender’s Office.  He had a long day in court that day, one that I would watch entirely from the gallery.  After some initial motions in which controversial evidence was admitted, the fun process of jury selection began *end sarcasm*!  Out of a pool of about 25 people, only 2 were eliminated out of fear of their biases over the course of 2 lengthy questioning sessions, leaving attorneys on both sides and the judge to sort through quite a few names before arriving at a satisfactory selection of jurors.  Five women and a man were chosen, giving this blog post its title.  Then, after the jury had been carefully selected and instructed by the judge on what to do…we went into recess for lunch, as the selection had gone on way longer than anticipated.  The real fun would start in about an hour and a half.

A quick, fun little note: the benches in the courtroom gallery are simultaneously really uncomfortable and rather sleep-inducing.  The friendly clerk/bailiff/court reporter (I don’t know what her official position was, as she seemed to be fulfilling all three functions) noticed my dual predicament and helpfully offered me a solution in the form of a comfy chair from off to the side.  Positioned at the end of the benches with a full view of the courtroom, I had the best seat in the (court)house.  Furthermore, whenever L, the defendant, the clerk/bailiff/reporter or the defense witness wanted to enter the courtroom floor, they had to go by me and I sometimes held the little swivel door for them, making me feel like an unofficial bailiff for the rest of the day!

After we all came back from lunch (where I had grabbed some ice cream--no photos this time, though), the trial itself commenced.  It was a fourth-degree assault case (and a domestic violence case, which is why I don’t feel like going too much into detail here), and a short one, to boot.  The prosecution had two witnesses, both of whom were police officers.  The defense also had two witnesses: the defendant himself and his old business partner.  The whole thing was an amazing show of direct examination, cross-examination, objections, and fancy legal maneuvers and was everything I had hoped for!

At around 3:15, the jury heard out closing arguments from both sides and were given detailed instructions by the judge on how to deliberate.  With that, the jurors sidled off into the jury room, where the next hour and a half tensely flew by.  Finally, the jury returned, gave a slip of paper to the judge, who read (after what seemed like forever, given the procedure) the verdict:

NOT GUILTY

(Sadly for my inner Ace Attorney fanboy, this was not accompanied by confetti or applause.  I clapped silently a little to compensate, though.)

And so, the first jury trial I have ever watched (I’ve seen bench trials before, for the record) came to a close!  It was approximately 4:45, meaning that my official shift at work was long over, so I headed on home.  L told me that I could tag along with any other trials in the near future.  Though I want to get plenty done at the office this summer, I may certainly take him up on that offer!

Notes from THE FUTURE: 

Eleven years later, I have now personally tried over thirty criminal/municipal cases.  Five of them were at the Marion County Circuit Court (pictured above) when I was still in law school, and most of them have been jury trials.  This initial experience set the standard for how I view trials and still holds up looking back.  Most jury selections, trial motions, testimonies, and cross-examinations somewhat resemble what I first experienced back in June 2014.  Given that I will soon be moving back to Salem and the realm of the Marion County Circuit Court, I have a feeling that my next trial is going to resemble this initial experience even more than usual.

I still haven't seen Twelve Angry Men.  I should probably fix that one of these days.

Fischberg Flashback 37: Capitol Punishment

Note: this was originally posted to Ben Around the Block on June 16, 2025.  I have made minor adjustments based on grammar, logistics, and protection of privacy. 

Ah, that was a nice weekend, filled with Mario Kart 8 and the Spider-Man trilogy, my primary relaxation aids.  Back to work and excitement!

Today was less about work and more about excitement, as it was my day off.  I celebrated it by doing something I had been meaning to do all year: visit the Oregon State Capitol!

I’ve wanted to visit this place for two main reasons: 1) I have been to the Texas, California, and Hawaii state capitols, and 2) I literally go to college right across the street from the Oregon State Capitol and have no excuse not to see it.  I finally got to achieve this desire today, along with a pair of friends.

We arrived shortly before 10 in order to take the 10:00 tour.  The tour, which was hosted by an awesomely energetic tour guide, started nice and easily…by taking us up to the roof of the capitol!  Several flights of stairs later (which caused me to have flashbacks to St. Paul’s Cathedral), we were up fairly high, with a gorgeous view all around us.

 

Willamette University

more Willamette University

Eaton Hall, my college stomping grounds

The Golden Man, who tops off the capitol

I don’t know if it’s clear from these photos, but it started to rain while we were up there.  With the grace and beauty of a drowned rat, I climbed back down and resumed the tour with the others.  Next up was the state legislature and senate chambers, which reminded me a great deal of the Texas and California capitols.  In all of my infinite wisdom, I did not take any grand sweeping photos of the chambers themselves, so enjoy these paintings in each chamber that I did photograph:

 

In the House: a depiction of Oregon deciding to join the Union

In the Senate: a depiction of Oregon getting the news that it has been made a state

Finally, the tour was concluded by a trip to the governor’s (empty) office.  As with the Hawaii gubernatorial office, it was a small, yet ornate room that left me impressed.  Also like the Hawaii gubernatorial office, the governor’s chair looked really comfy (no, I didn’t sit in it).

The tour took less than an hour, but it was awesomely rich.  I haven’t had a proper educational trip like this since my time in London, and it was great to see some historic sites again!

So yeah, that was my nice little adventure for today, where a good time was had with friends.  I head back to work tomorrow, and I’m really looking forward to it: I’m scheduled to watch an actual jury trial!  It should be grand (Get it?  Grand jury?…Please drive home safely.)!  Stay tuned for future updates!

Present observations:

As I  write this, I am getting ready to move back to Salem.  Reading this reminds me that there's still some historical sites to seek out in that neck of the woods.  Then again, as seen in my trip to Tillamook's local museum, there's a lot of interesting history everywhere if you know where to look.

Given that the Oregon Capitol has had a lot of construction/renovations done over the past 5 years and has been the site of political unrest for the past 4 years (especially in January 2021, when state capitols all over the U.S. were threatened by thugs), I don't know if tours like this are still open to the public.  I'm lucky I got to visit when I did!

Fischberg Flashback 36: Hey Everybody, We're All Gonna Get Paid!

Note: this was originally posted to Ben Around the Block on June 13, 2014.  I have made minor changes. 

(Yes, I’m making a Caddyshack reference in this entry’s title.  I have no shame.)

They said it couldn’t be done…but I did it!  I actually got paid for working an unpaid internship!

To be exact, I was paid this nice, crisp dollar on Wednesday:

Pictured: re-creation of moment

And why was I paid this lovely dollar?  Compensation for paying a dollar to have some records copied at the courthouse.  In other words, my net gain on Wednesday was zero dollars and zero cents, as usual.  Oh well, better luck next time!

When not (almost) making money, I’ve been keeping busy at work, where I’m proud of my accomplishments, but slowly losing faith in humanity (I don’t want to type too much, but suffice to say, there is police and prosecutorial conduct in Oregon that makes me sad).  My boss says he’d like to get me to see a jury trial soon--I’m hotly anticipating this future foray into the world of law!

When not working, I’ve been finding refuge in a combination of friends and electronic entertainment, which keeps me distracted from my twin banes: allergies and intense loneliness.  I have hooked up my shiny new TV in my room and hooked it up to my Wii U, meaning that BrainRotFest 2014 can commence at any given second.  Furthermore, I’ve been watching plenty of movies, one in theaters (Maleficent, which is good and I highly recommend) and many via DVDs, owned and loaned.  Chief among these, I’ve seen every Miyazaki movie available at the Hatfield Library (which, for the record, consists of Howl’s Moving Castle, Castle in the Sky, Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, and Princess Mononoke) and The Godfather, that classic masterpiece of American cinema (which I promptly followed up with Spider-Man 3, because that is how I roll).  If there’s one thing I’ll be getting from this summer, it’ll be an extensive education in movies!

One final thing that has brought me excitement as of late is the recent E3 news.  Have you heard that Miis are playable characters in the next Smash Bros. game?!  Now I can finally arrange a four-way duel between Dick Cheney, Satan, Miles Edgeworth, and Sonic the Hedgehog!!!!  OK, I’m done geeking out.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Friday to slog through and a weekend to enjoy.

Modern reflections:

The photo I took of me hanging out with my dollar has been buried by the sands of time, so I recreated it as best I could for this throwback post.  My face hasn't changed much in the past eleven years, so I think it's fairly accurate.

Speaking of things not changing much over the years, police/prosecutorial misconduct still gets me down when I see it (though it is thankfully rather rare).

I would go on to see several jury trials over the summer, as discussed in later entries. 

Fischberg Flashback 35: I Like to Move It, Move It

Note: this was originally published to Ben Around the Block on June 2, 2025.  I have made minor changes.

 

Well, it took a while to get to and it was an arduous process, but I’ve finally moved into Alpha House!

The past week has moved right along, with work taking center stage in my life.  Some days are more intense than others, but I’m adapting and thriving.  I’m slowly being given more responsibilities, such as filing documents at the courthouse on my own and dropping off mail.  On less-work-related fronts, I’ve been taking chances and trying out as many restaurants in Salem as possible.  With so much variety, I’ll definitely be busy sampling for the next few weeks!

After my adventures at the jail annex, there was one other little bit of excitement I had this week.  On Friday, as I was coming back to the office from filing documents in court, I stopped at a mailbox in order to drop off the mail (the two aforementioned new responsibilities).  As I put the letters in the slot, I heard a voice say, “Excuse me sir?”  I turned around and saw a uniformed police officer walking towards me.  He asked for my name, which I readily gave to him.  He then asked for identification to prove that I was who I said I was, so I gingerly got out my driver’s license.  He explained that I apparently looked like someone he was currently looking for.  Sure enough, the man in the wanted poster on his clipboard did bear a slight resemblance to me, albeit without glasses or a beard (in other words, he actually looked nothing like me).  Upon inspecting my license, he concluded that I wasn’t the man he was looking for and walked away after giving me back my license.  Between this and my near-arraignment, I’ve been getting a lot closer to the criminal justice system than I anticipated.  It’s times like this that I think my life is slowly morphing into a wacky sitcom…

And now for a commercial break!

…

EAT BASKIN-ROBBINS ICE CREAM!

…

Break is over, back to our regularly scheduled program, Ben Around The Block!

Anyhoo, yesterday was my long-awaited move into Alpha House.  My hosts at Gamma House were kind enough to transport all my things to Alpha House, where I proceeded to start unpacking all of my worldly possessions, which are rather few, given my current independent status in life.

Grocery shopping was a bit of a pain; I hadn’t done it in a while and I needed to stock up on garbage bags, something I was lacking.  Also, my trusty reusable bag broke.  For now, I’ve got just about everything I need…except companionship, as this house is completely empty and very lonesome.  To fill the gap, I plan to dedicate myself to work, socialize with local friends as much as possible, and rot my brains out with video games once my new TV is hooked up.

So yeah, I’m all moved in, I’m adjusting to my new surroundings, and I am now more independent than ever before.  Now, the real fun starts.

 

Reflections from 2025 Ben:

My move to Alpha House represented the real start of independence, as I now was on my own and had to set my own routines.  Living on your own for the first time kind of feels like being 4 years old; you're learning everything about the world, experiencing things for the first time, and spending more time dealing with the toilet than you'd like.

This post originally had photos comparing my living quarters, but those photos have been lost to time. 

Fischberg Flashback 34: Arraign Train

Note: this was originally posted to Ben Around the Block on May 27, 2014.  I have made some minor edits; most notably, I've redacted all real names, as I am currently unable to get permission to mention anyone by name.

 

Hi, everyone!  After a long weekend, it’s good to be back!

After three days of relaxing, sleeping, napping, resting, and snoozing (Noticing a pattern here?), I was all refreshed and ready to get back to work…only to find myself in jail!

…Yep, this is jail.  To be exact, it’s the annex of the Marion County Jail, which contains a fully functional courthouse meant for arraignments.  Most importantly, it’s where I spent this morning!

For the less legal-minded, arraignments are a simple legal proceeding in which a defendant, detained or otherwise, comes into court, has the charges against them formally explained to them, enters a plea, and files a form to have an attorney appointed to their case if they don’t already have one.  Got all that?  Congratulations, you know more about arraignments than two of the defendants who were in court today hoping to debunk their charges then and there (I’ll elaborate on their sins, along with other cases of general dumb@$$ery I’ve seen, in a later post)!

Tagging along with M [actual name redacted], one of the legal assistants at the office, I rode along to the county jail and settled in one of the courtrooms that was specifically reserved for arraignments.  With its stone walls and somewhat dull lighting, the courtroom almost had the feeling of a medieval dungeon (The fact that there was a door in the back that led directly to the jail’s cellblock did not detract from this feeling).  The gallery was filled with people, and the arraignments were already in process.  I quickly got a seat in the gallery next to a beautiful young woman.  She greeted me kindly, waved, and smiled (dare I say it) in an almost flirtatious manner.  I relaxed and returned the greeting, wave, and smile.  Between the light flirting and the awesome jurisprudence action up ahead, I figured this was going to be a good day.

As luck would have it, she was the next person scheduled to be arraigned and pled guilty to third-degree theft five minutes after flirting with me.  And that is the story of how I flirted with a thief, something that apparently doesn’t just happen in movies.

The rest of the arraignments went smoothly and quickly (outside of the aforementioned dumb@$$ery).  For each case, the presiding judge confirmed the defendant’s name and date of birth, confirmed the defendant’s choice of an attorney, then gave them a form that explained their charges and rights, which they filled out in the gallery.  In a few cases, defendants that had been approached by the DA’s office with plea bargain deals pled guilty, admitting their guilt before the stern-yet-compassionate judge.  One of the more notable cases was a young man who pled guilty to two theft charges.  Specifically, he had stolen clothes from Sears on two separate days.  The judge let him off with a fine, a warning, and encouragement to get a job, telling him explicitly, “You’re not a very good thief, are you?”  That mild embarrassment from having his crime skills being dissed by a judge probably went well with the embarrassment of admitting to shoplifting (He was also 18, which made me feel really old.).  Overall, arraignment justice is nasty, brutish, and short.

As the arraign train chugged on (we have a title!), the gallery slowly emptied.  Turns out just about everyone in the gallery was a defendant waiting his/her turn to be arraigned.  After an hour or so, the gallery was completely empty, save me and M, who was finishing up some paperwork.  As I stood up and prepared to leave, the judge noticed me and asked me what I was here for.  When I was at a loss for words to explain, he asked if I was on the docket to be arraigned.  Maybe it was just my overactive imagination, but I could have sworn that the bailiff started towards me.  Here I was, about to be arraigned for a crime I knew nothing about!  What was I supposed to say?  What was I supposed to plead?!  WHO WOULD BE MY LAWYER?!?!  Fortunately, I was saved from misplaced prosecution by M, who explained that I was a student who was with her.  The judge approved of my presence and studies and wished me well.  As such, I was one of the few gallery members who left without being arraigned on any charges!

After that series of adventures, I accompanied M back to work and resumed my usual duties.  Because the vacationing receptionist was no longer vacationing, I now have much fewer responsibilities at work.  Although I was recruited to help process some of the incoming mail, my primary duties are now sending out outgoing mail and scanning closed case files so that they can be archived.  I gave it my all today (as I usually do, to be honest) and left work at the end of the day tired, yet satisfied.  Between the arraignments, the flirting and the evaded indictment, I had one heck of a field trip today!  My supervisor hinted that I might be able to attend more arraignments in the future.  Assuming I’m not the one being charged, I’ll be sure to enjoy such future excursions!

Reflections:

Eleven years later, arraignment justice is still nasty, brutish, and short (though I never experience flirting or near-arrests anymore).  Things are also done differently in Tillamook County, as people don't enter a plea (or enter a plea bargain) until case management about a month later (I have had to explain this to a lot of people expecting Marion County-style arraignments).  Arraignments are also done at the circuit court, not the jail.  People detained in jail used to be brought over in person for arraignments at the end of the day, but they now appear by video in this post-Covid world.  Given that I'll be returning to Marion County in a few months, I anticipate seeing what eleven years of change looks like on this front.