Into the Woods

The sight from just outside my room.  Nothing reminds a man of him being in farmland like seeing cows from his window when he wakes up.

For me, a man more used to urban environments, life in Tillamook County is quite the adventure.  Every morning, I have new sights, sounds, and smells to deal with compared to my last residence.  I see cows out my window and pastures on the highways.  I hear mostly silence, even when in town.  Most distinctively, I smell cows*** everywhere.  Every.  Where.

Honestly, the smell doesn’t bother me all that much (though I sometimes wonder if I’ve wandered into a bathroom when I’m indoors).  I used to volunteer at a horse stable and read court cases in law school, so I’m used to dealing with all kinds of s***.  Furthermore, I have it kind of lucky.  Based on the position of my residence, I’m high above many surrounding farms (which means having killer views) and just out of range of a methane plant that is constantly emitting fumes.  According to some of my fellow lawyers, the smells from that place makes cow dung seem pleasant by comparison.  Although I don’t look forward to smelling those fumes, it’ll probably happen sooner or later as I reside in this county.

Things that aren’t poop-related are going well, too.  Today, I got the Internet in my room ironed out and took care of some logistics associated with a move (cancelling utilities, notifying the DMV, etc.).  When 6pm rolled around, I didn’t quite feel like cooking (possibly because I’m still a little intimidated by having a new kitchen).  As such, I ventured out to a new restaurant I had read about on Yelp by following my phone’s GPS.  Unfortunately, one thing I had failed to read was the exact location: it wasn’t until I was deep in the woods that I realized that this restaurant wasn’t in town, but out in the middle of nowhere, where shadows tower tall and cell phone coverage is non-existent (but there is limited Internet—weird, I know).  Oregon’s forests are beautiful at night, but they also make you feel that a bear/serial killer/vampire/sasquatch is just around the corner.  Still, I soldiered through and found the diner.  It was a charming little place with amazing food (I should really do a post about Tillamook’s delicacies in the future…), and I had a pleasant dinner.  As soon as I left the diner, I felt dread; my iPhone wasn’t getting any kind of signal, so I couldn’t use a GPS to navigate out of the woods and get home.  And so, there I was, in Ted Bundy’s old stomping grounds, without a clear way back.

Not wanting to be Bigfoot chow, I carefully got back on the road I had taken and drove back the way I came.  Exiting the woods wasn’t too difficult, but I didn’t know where exactly to get off the highway.  As I was contemplating pulling over and rechecking for Internet coverage, I saw it: the fumes of the nearby methane plant!  I knew then that my exit was close by, and that I had to monitor the plant to properly gauge the proper distance to determine where home was.  I pulled off the highway at the next exit, and I was home before I knew it!  I had made it home without my GPS (sort of; I got it on during the last few stretches of road to ensure my safe arrival); I had pulled through yet another adventure in Tillamook County!

I’ll keep this little incident in mind as a parable of sorts.  With some luck, I should be able to keep navigating back anytime I get off course in life.  I just need to keep my eyes on life’s methane plants (but hold my nose)!

I did not take any pictures of the woods, so here is the pasture from before at night, just to drive home how dark Oregon gets in the evening.

The methane plant that helped me out, big time.