Sweet Christmas

Merry Christmas, fans/stalkers!  Ho Ho Ho!

Christmas Day is upon me, and not a day too soon.  Although I haven’t exactly been overwhelmed at work, I still get worn out at the end of each day.  Furthermore, it can get discouraging when I can’t find a clear way of helping clients, and I tend to feel guilty (pun not intended) as they sit in jail.  I’m starting to think I may need to find a way to separate my work thinking with my non-work thinking; the plight of detained clients can make it difficult to relax.  Still Christmas is a day for me to take off—because the court and DA’s office are closed, it’s impossible to do any meaningful work.  As such, I got plenty of rest and resolved to not do much.

The most eventful thing that happened this Christmas was that I headed downtown to catch the 6pm showing of Star Wars: Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker at the Tillamook Coliseum (Tillamook’s only movie theater, with just one auditorium).  Side note: one of the best parts about having an office in town?  Free legal parking!  As a lifelong diehard Star Wars fan, I’d been itching to go for the past few days.  I was not disappointed: Rise of Skywalker was a great movie and an excellent conclusion for the Sequel Trilogy. :)  Moreover, I haven’t been to the movies in a while, and this was a pleasant return to cinema-going since becoming a lawyer.  I don’t know how often I’ll be seeing movies, but I know the Coliseum is there!

Star Wars (and a little grocery shopping) aside, this day was spent relaxing: eating cheese, eating ice cream, napping, surfing the web, reviewing a client’s case file (hey, I still felt like doing a little bit of work—I’ve got a hearing tomorrow I want to be ready for), calling loved ones, etc.  It wasn’t exactly the most exciting holiday, but it was one day where I wasn’t racing around, sitting in a jail visiting room, or nervously talking into a courtroom microphone.  In other words, it was just what I needed!

It's not exactly snow, but check out that frost; winter is here in Tillamook!

Over Thanksgiving, Cthulhu's parents gave me a Lego Star Wars advent calendar.  Having reached Christmas, behold my total bounty!

Decorations in the Tillamook Coliseum.  Rather appropriate, given the show. :)

It's also the fourth night of Hanukkah.  I may not have a proper candle menorah, but my electronic travel menorah works wonders.

But all good things must come to an end, and this includes relaxing days off.  My batteries are charged, and I’m ready to buckle down.  Tomorrow, I’ll resume doing what I (try to) do best: defending the guilty, protecting the innocent, and sticking it to the man.

Pleading Heart

Another week is done.  As usual, this means I received a new batch of clients to help and work with.  However, I also managed to finish work with a few clients in very short order.  How did I do this?  Through the magic of plea bargaining!

What is plea bargaining, you ask?  It’s a very major part of my job!  When a prosecutor charges someone with a crime, there’s usually some time before anyone talks about getting a trial ready.  In that meantime, the prosecutor will usually make an offer to the defense attorney and client: in exchange for pleading guilty to 1 charge (or just a few charges, if there are a lot of alleged crimes), the prosecutor will drop the remaining charges and/or make a low sentence recommendation to the judge (the judge doesn’t have to listen, but they almost always do to facilitate deals).  If they choose to accept, the attorney and client fill out a specialized form (known as a “plea petition”), which the judge goes through with the client in court before accepting the plea and imposing sentence.  It is an extremely common procedure in the criminal justice system and is the reason why less than 10% of all criminal cases ever go to trial.  As such, it’s something that I dealt with all the time. I get plea offers in my court mailbox almost as often as I get evidence reports from the DA’s office, and I was involved in the process almost every day this week—from talking to prosecutors about offers to filling out plea petitions, from going over them with clients to presenting petitions in court.

Love them or hate them, plea bargaining pervades just about everything I do—and trust me, there are indeed plenty folks who love or hate plea bargaining.  Some claim that it lets criminals get away with multiple crimes without punishment.  Some claim that it violates the right to trial by jury and lets the state punish people without proper proof.  Still others claim that it pressures the innocent into pleading guilty to crimes they didn’t commit.  My own feelings on the process are a bit complicated.  On one hand, it definitely helps some of my clients; they get fairly low sentences and can get their cases over with.  On the other hand, I have seen detained clients insisting on their innocence accepting plea offers because it’s the fastest way out of jail.  In truth, I think that’s a testament to the unfairness of pretrial detention, but that’s an angry rant for another time (and probably a different forum than this blog—this kind of thing is best discussed in person).  Plea bargaining can get disheartening, but it’s unfortunately necessary; courts are already plenty clogged, with trials taking weeks or months to schedule.  As such, I’ll keep on informing clients about plea offers, explaining all the consequences, and letting them decide.  That’s pretty much all I can do, morally and ethically.

Because I don’t want to end on such a heavy note, I’ll leave you with a humorous moment from one such plea hearing from this week:

GREAT MOMENTS IN TILLAMOOK JURISPRUDENCE

*insert sophisticated music*

Episode II: Business as Usual

Judge: Sir, you have had a chance to discuss the charges and state’s plea offer with your attorney?

Client: Yes.

J: Has Mr. Fischberg answered all of your questions?

C: Yes.

J: Do you have any problems with Mr. Fischberg’s representation so far?

C: Yes.

[awkward beat]

J: So, you have a problem with Mr. Fischberg’s legal advice…?

C: No, I mean no!  I was expecting to say yes to most of these.  He’s done OK.

[Hearing goes on as planned.  Hopefully, client will remain satisfied with representation.]

Trial by Fire

WHEW!!  I’ve finished my first two weeks of active legal practice.  As of now, I’m relaxing in my room, mentally preparing for another busy week.  The last two weeks or so has been a crazy whirlwind of new experiences, but I’ll try to recollect what I can.

First of all, Thanksgiving at Cthulhu’s (which was the other potential title for the last entry) was pretty swell.  There was lots of yummy food, glass blowing on Black Friday, some binge-watching of The Mandalorian and Castlevania, some playing of Pokémon Shield, and a general feeling of calm as I desperately tried to not think about my impending doom.  As with all good things, my break came to an end, and so, after a stopover in Salem, Oregon and the customary 2–3-day trip to the coast, I was back in Tillamook ready for whatever legal gauntlet was to be thrown in my path.

I expected a lot of work, yes.  But what I didn’t count on was how fast everything is and how often I’d have something exciting happen!  Honestly, every day brought something that I could have spun into a blog post (were it not for time constraints and the Oregon Rules of Professional Conduct).  I’ve ended up spending relatively little time in my office; most of my days seem to revolve around me going to court or the county jail (I’ll probably elaborate on both kinds of experiences in future blog posts).  Still, one thing has been a pleasant surprise: regardless of how difficult the work is, I find it extremely rewarding!  Every day last week, I was out late visiting clients at the jail (an experience type that probably warrants its own blog entry) and was exhausted upon my arrival home.  But in spite of my fatigue, I’ve never felt so alive!  In the past two weeks, I’ve gotten several people out of jail, reunited a mother with her kids, helped some clients navigate through the bail system, facilitated medical evaluation, and acted as the primary contact with the outside world for some of my detained clients.  I’m only one man doing so much, but I feel very proud of the work I’m doing and look forward to fighting the good fight as my career goes on.

Because I’m a very busy man, I may not be able to updated this blog as frequently as I’d like.  Still, I’ll be sure to write about any exciting adventures that come up in the near future.  I’ll finish this entry with a new segment I might continue in the future:

GREAT MOMENTS IN TILLAMOOK JURISPRUDENCE

*insert sophisticated music of your choice here*

[The transcript you are about to read is a slightly dramatized version of an actual interaction I had in court.  All names but mine are withheld to professional/ethical reasons]

Episode I: The Awkward Afternoon Arraignment

Benjamin D. Fischberg, Attorney at Law: Your Honor, based on my client being charged with only a misdemeanor, I would like to move for a conditional pretrial release.

Judge: Very well, what is defense proposing?

Fischberg (to client, who is in court via video conference from the county jail): Sir, do you have stable housing you could stay at if you were released from jail?

Client: Yeah, I can stay in the area around the courthouse.

F (taken aback by response): So, you have an apartment or something…?

C: Nah, I’ll just be sleeping in the nearby park.

F (mentally facepalming):…that is our proposal, Your Honor.

J: Noted.  What is the State’s position?

Prosecutor: Your Honor, the defendant is homeless, is well-known to our office, has several robbery convictions, and has not shown up to court in the past.  Also, the misdemeanor he is charged with in question is violating a restraining order…

[Video chat to jail crashes, possibly out of embarrassment on defense counsel’s behalf.  Arraignment has to be finished an hour later, with the client physically being brought to court.]

[Client does not get a conditional release.]

[Defense counsel Fischberg dusts himself off, assures himself that there was no harm in trying, and goes about his day.]

Gratitude Adjustment

Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans!  I’m writing this from the Seattle area, where I’ve gone with Cthulhu (my sweetheart, not the Great Old One) to spend Turkey Day with their family.  I’m currently digesting the mid-afternoon meal in a cornbread-induced bliss, so I figured flowing some creative juices would help my digestive juices.  Although a lot of things have developed at work recently, I don’t feel like writing about them in detail.  Instead, as cheesy as it may seem, I thought I’d write in the spirit of today and reflect on what I’m thankful for.

First things first, I’m thankful for where I’ve gotten in life.  A year ago, I was a high-strung law student unsure where life would take him.  Today, I’m a full-fledged lawyer with a car, a business, and a bright future in a nice small town.  All of this is possible thanks to a number of factors.  Obviously, I’m fortunate to be born in circumstances affluent enough to allow me to pursue a career in law.  Given that recent law school graduates aren’t always in high demand, I feel blessed to have located and locked down an open position; even more fortuitously, I was able to then find housing (not an easy feat in Tillamook) and a car shortly afterwards, making it all possible.  I’ve been extremely fortunate to have these opportunities, and I hope to make the most of them to help the less fortunate.

As part of my circumstances, I’m grateful to live in my home country, the United States of America.  I know that may seem unnecessarily patriotic to many and that many people will be tempted to point out the many, many problems with this country.  Rest assured, I am familiar with these problems (as someone involved in indigent defense, I am painfully intimate with these problems on a regular basis).  However, with all her blemishes, I love America.  Speaking as the descendant of economic refugees and fugitives from pogroms, I appreciate how this country has been good for my family and allowed me to be born, to live, and to prosper in my current state.  While I am no fan of objectivism or completely unregulated capitalism, I am grateful that this country has a free enough market to allow me to open and operate my own law practice and profit accordingly.  Furthermore, as one who staunchly believes in the rule of law, I am eternally grateful to live in a country where freedom and speech/press/religion and fairness under the law (due process and equal protection 4eva, fellow constitutional law scholars!) are enshrined in the reigning constitution (even if they aren’t always applied perfectly at times).  I know I don’t always sound like a patriot in day-to-day life: I don’t wave or display flags regularly, I’m sometimes critical of America’s history and institutions, and I frequently voice my concerns on where this country is going.  However, I think my actions speak louder than words: I believe so strongly in American notions of legal fairness, I’ve dedicated my life and career to helping the indigent through legal counsel in the grand tradition of Jon Adams and Gideon v. Wainwright.  As illusory as it seems to many, my family and I have succeeded at living the American dream.  I know that this country hasn’t always been fair to everyone (believe me, I see proof of that at my job all the time), but I hope that I can bring fairness to my clients and make the ideals of fairness more of a reality.

In looking back on how I got to my current position, I am extremely grateful to the friends and allies I have gathered and consulted with on my journey so far.  Throughout the toils, trials (literal and figurative), and tribulations I’ve faced throughout adolescence, college, my gap year, law school, bar preparation, and job-hunting, there have been plenty of friends and acquaintances who have been in my corner.  These include, but are not limited to: my loving parents (hi, Mom and Dad—I know you’re probably reading this!) and relatives, my high school friends from Hawaii, my fellow eccentric clowns from Willamette Improv Club, my London drinking buddies, my Salem drinking buddies, my Dungeons & Dragons buddies, Cthulhu and their family, my fellow budgeteers from the Hawaii Senate Ways and Means Committee, my fellow academasochistic law students (particularly my study partners, Moot Court partners, and superiors/subordinates on Willamette Law Review), the champions of justice at the Federal Public Defender of Oregon and Public Defender of Marion County, and my new comrades in the Tillamook legal community.  No matter the obstacle or ordeal, these associates came through for me in some way or another.  If any of them are reading this, know that I am grateful for your assistance and will happily return the favor—all you need to do is ask.

As I look forward in my career, I am furthermore grateful to the numerous mentors who are there for me.  Between high school teachers, college professors, bosses, law school professors, coworkers, and attorney mentors, I’ve had plenty of people willing to show me the way in the past.  Today, I’ve got my predecessor, my colleagues at the Tillamook County Defense Consortium, my current attorney mentors, and even Tillamook County prosecutors all offering to show me the ropes around the Oregon legal scene as a newbie lawyer.  No matter what challenges the coming months bring, I have no shortage of people to turn to when the going gets tough; for that, I am very, very glad.

Finally, I’m thankful all the little and/or stupid things in life that make my life a little more pleasant: pasta, TV Tropes, dried fruit, farmers’ markets, naps, quirky webcomics, Star Wars, French fries, nerd conventions, Spotify, online shopping, sushi, Ace Attorney, cheese, wholesome Internet memes, donuts, Honest Trailers, soft pretzels, classic rock radio stations, sourdough bread, online quizzes, salt, Cinema Snob reviews, tea, ASMR videos, chocolate, late-night talk shows, Pokémon, Death Battle, s****y coffee, video games, highly pleasurable things I can’t write about on this family-friendly blog (hi again, Mom and Dad!), ice cream, tie-dye t-shirts, the feeling of power I get from wearing my Oregon State Bar lapel pin, comic books, the excitement that comes from mastering a new recipe, superhero movies, and this blog.

I hope everyone is having a great day, be it in the U.S. or abroad.  Stay safe on Black Friday, everyone!

Felonious, Much?

Hey-o!  I’ve just wrapped up one whale of a day that saw an unconventional rite of passage; as of now, I am now qualified to take the lead defense on minor felony cases!  For those of you who aren’t Oregon lawyers involved in court-appointed defense, “minor felonies” refer to any Class C felonies that aren’t sex crimes.  For those of you who aren’t Oregon lawyers, “Class C felonies” are crimes that carry a maximum sentence of 5 years incarceration and a $125,000 fine (ORS §§ 161.605 & 161.625; don’t say I don’t cite my sources).  These include third-degree robbery (robbery alone and without a weapon; ORS § 164.395), second-degree burglary (entering a non-dwelling house with intent to commit a crime; ORS § 164.215), or first-degree theft (stealing over $1,000 worth of property, a firearm or explosive, a companion animal, livestock, anything during a riot, anything through secured transaction, or substances used for making meth; ORS § 164.055).  Normally, this kind of certification takes at least nine months of practicing misdemeanor cases, but my time as a court-certified law student who tried jury cases got to be applied to this requirement.  All that was left was for me to co-chair one felony case with a certified lawyer, and the certification would be mine.

Shown above is the courthouse where it all went down.  If you’re thinking to yourself, “that doesn’t look much like a courthouse,” congratulations, your common sense is tingling!  You see, the usual Tillamook County Circuit Court is currently closed due to potential health concerns (long story, don’t worry; no one got hurt or anything), so court needed to be held at a different venue.  In this case, the venue was the mess hall of a former naval airbase.  It’s not exactly a grand hall of justice (and the makeshift courtroom reminded me more of my high school auditorium), but you make do with what you can when you’re in a small farming community.  All things being said, the local judiciary did a great job of sprucing the place up, and it will be a satisfactory court until the circuit court is back in circulation.

The trial itself was novel enough; I’ve sat through and participated in plenty of misdemeanor cases, but this was the first felony trial I followed from start to finish, let alone participated in.  For starters, the jury pool was 3 times larger than anything I had done voir dire with before (this makes sense, since felony trials in Oregon have twice as many jurors empanelled as misdemeanor trials).  The case, from voir dire to conclusion, was quite fascinating (I won’t go into details because the details are highly technical, but I will say this: the trial was shorter than anticipated, there was some brilliant lawyering on display, and the trial ended favorably for the defense).  With the trial complete, my rite of passage was too; hello, minor felony certification!  Afterwards, I helped co-chair an arraignment.  This was also…interesting (I won’t share any details because of privacy concerns, but let’s just say it was the kind of case/client I hope to not deal with in my immediate future).  With court out for the day, I went home with some hope and pride in my heart (and some errands on my agenda—everyday life doesn’t stop for career milestones, unfortunately).

The lunch hour brought some intrigue, as well.  When I was walking to the Benmobile from the mess hall, an elderly couple approached me and asked if this building was where they had to pay their taxes.  I gave them my best answer (“Maybe?”) and advised them to ask inside.  They then asked if I was an attorney.  When I answered affirmatively, they suddenly seemed to get uncomfortable and hastily walked away.  Apparently, attorneys are kryptonite for elderly taxpayers.  Dare I call this…a power of attorney? *rimshot*

*deafening silence*

Please drive home safely.

Anyhoo, because I was getting tired in court, I set out to get some coffee to tide me over (lawyers didn’t get free coffee, but jurors did—lucky ducks).  Some driving around and exploring brought me to a nice little café that also functioned as a greenhouse, nursery, and gift shop (because Oregon).  You never know what you’re going to find just looking around for a cup of joe (I should know; I once discovered a whole small coastal town while once looking for some coffee/tea).  It’s funny how every day can bring an adventure (albeit a small one) by just wandering around like a seasoned surveyor/idiot.

Pure Oregon, baby.

The day was short, but it sure was eventful.  I’m now minor felony-certified, which means I have much more potential for assigned cases…and therefore more potential for challenging work.  When I start receiving cases next month, I’ll be getting crimes a bit more serious than what I’ve handled in the past (mostly disorderly conduct and trespassing).  I’ll do everything I can to live up to the challenge and make sure that my clients get the kind of excellent legal representation I’ve seen from my fellow consortium members.  I’ve got big shoes to fill, but I’m ready to grow!

The Office

Hi, guys!  I’m still alive…somehow.  I meant to write a new entry sooner, but the last week or so has been a real whirlwind.  Starting a law office really is something else!

In my last entry, I wrote about how I’d be starting my new job on November 1.  That was the plan…but plans rarely work as anticipated.  As it turns out, my predecessor (who was going to help me move in) had court in another county that day (because lawyer) which came up suddenly.  As such, we had to reschedule the grand opening day for the next week.  To relax and refresh, I spent most of the weekend playing Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.  Fun historical tidbit: according to legend, some pirate crews held mock trials as a hobby and would roleplay as lawyers (they figured they’d be caught one day and wanted to give a good show in court before being incarcerated or executed—hey, practice makes perfect).  This makes my virtual roleplaying as a pirate before starting a legal career weirdly appropriate…

Anyway, after refreshing and relaxing over the weekend, it was time to finally begin.  On Monday, I met with my predecessor after some court hearings (because lawyer), and she handed off the keys to the office with careful instructions about what each one did (along with some useful advice about the functions of the office).  I loaded up a box of my things into the Benmobile and drove over to my new office (the first of many commutes).  I then spent the morning unpacking my things and figuring out exactly how to arrange my new office space.  When I finally got it to my satisfaction, I sat back and took a deep breath.

 

My glorious new office, once organized to my liking.  Fill that small glass plate with fun-sized 3 Musketeers, and you pretty much have what my office looks like as of now.

With this monumental step complete, I then felt a monumental sense of dreadful stress.  Here I was, in my own office, with myself for a boss, without any idea of what to do next.  There were over a dozen tasks that needed to be handled to get my new office off the ground, and I had a frustrating lack of guidance on how to handle it.  To help get on track, I called Cthulhu to vent and strategize.  Cthulhu kept me sane (“Cthulhu kept me sane”—there’s a phrase you’ll only read in this blog) and helped get me organized with some to-do lists.  As such, with my eyes on the big picture and professionalism in my heart, I spent the rest of the week getting my s*** together.  I organized myself as a limited liability company, set up a working relationship with an accountant, got myself a personal website, got myself a work e-mail address, got myself a work phone number, got myself some 3 Musketeers (OK, that one was as much personal as it was business-related), bought legal calendaring software, and checked in with the Oregon State Bar for guidance regarding other new small business issues.  It was a lot of work, but it fortunately isn’t work I’ll have to do again.  Success!

By the end of the week, I was feeling a lot better about my new office and career decisions.  Feeling pretty great about life, I decided that I could use some rest with a friendly face.  As such, I took the customary 2–3 hour drive down to Salem on Friday and spent the (long) weekend with Cthulhu.  When not eating at my favorite restaurants or hugging Cthulhu, I spent the weekend playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, preparing paperwork for opening a business account, picking up Luigi’s Mansion 3, and brainstorming what the heck I would include in my next blog post (one of these things was work-related—can you guess which one?).  My batteries recharged (especially my phone battery, which I needed for 2–3 hours of GPS usage), I departed on Monday and returned to Tillamook.  This time, I was coming back to something I didn’t have before—my new business.

And so, the mighty legal juggernaut known as Benjamin D. Fischberg, Attorney at Law LLC has entered the Tillamook scene and is here to stay.  I still have some organizational things to work out (such as business cards and banking), but my career is on the up.  While I won’t receive any cases until December, that should give me plenty of time to practice running a practice and continue adapting to life here in terrific Tillamook.

This Is Halloween

Boo!  Happy Halloween!  MUA HA HA HA HA!

My Halloween costume: an evil Oregon lawyer.  Bwa ha ha ha ha!

OK, I may not be wearing the most exciting costume, but I’ve been busy this past week with Continuing Legal Education (CLE) events; I just got back from a CLE in Portland (hence the “costume” for today).  In fact, my past week or so has been filled with CLEs in Portland.  As a rookie lawyer, I’m expected to accrue 15 credits by the end of 2020.  Given my dislike of putting off required credits, I’m doing what I can to get a head start this year!

My first CLE event in Portland was last Thursday, where the overall theme was pro bono legal work.  Although CLE credit and information regarding pro bono legal work were good enough motivations for attending, the main reason I signed up was to accept an award from the Oregon State Bar (OSB).  Each year, OSB gives a certificate to the students that worked the most pro bono hours at each of Oregon’s 3 law schools for the last school year.  Over the course of my third year of law school, I accrued a lot of hours working at the Public Defender of Marion County (if anyone from PDMC is reading this: Hi!  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to serve the community through legal means!).  As such, I felt that it would be appropriate to attend and collect my certificate in person (besides, I could use the experience driving to and from Portland).  There were 3 different lectures at the event; I chose to sit through one discussing trauma and self-care when working with difficult cases.  I learned some important techniques, engaged in a little self-reflection, and networked with Oregon’s legal community for most of the night.  Once I had my award and was full of tea and hors d’oeuvres, I drove back to Tillamook in the dark (achievement unlocked: Long-Distance Nighttime Driving!) and slept soundly upon my arrival home.

Me posing with my certificate and the president of the Oregon State Bar.  I first met her at the informal Tillamook bar association meeting and was pleasantly surprised to see her again in Portland.  I went on to see her again on Halloween.  Oregon really does have a small and tightly knit legal community.

Taking what I learned about trauma to heart, I decided to de-stress for the upcoming weekend.  The best way to do so?  Going down to Salem to visit Cthulhu, of course (remember, Cthulhu is the alias my sweetheart requested for blogging purposes)!  On Friday, I took the customary 2–3 hour drive, arriving in my previous hometown.  It was wonderful seeing Cthulhu again, and we even got to attend a Halloween costume party together (so yes, I did actually dress up for Halloween…sort of).  One blissful weekend later, it was time to go back.  I bid Cthulhu a fond farewell, got enough caffeine in my system to last 2–3 hours, and headed back to Tillamook.

My real costume for Halloween: Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth from the Ace Attorney series.

Feeling refreshed, I was all ready for the next CLE on October 30–31.  On the 29th, I drove on down to Portland and checked into a hotel across from the Oregon Convention Center.  In the past, I’ve gone to this particular venue for comic conventions.  This time, the convention there was about business, not pleasure.

The Oregon Convention Center at dawn.

The next day, I suited up, put on my lawyer face (and pin), and signed up for a day of lectures and networking.  All of the lectures were about the basics of practicing law ethically; because the OSB Professional Liability Fund hosted the event, there was an emphasis on preventing and defending from malpractice.  I also got to catch up with some former law school classmates, all of whom were also navigating the choppy waters of starting legal careers.  It was great to see some old friends, though I didn’t have as much opportunity to socialize as I may have liked.  When the day was done, I relaxed back at the hotel before enjoying a night on the town.  Because I felt like treating myself, I sought out a restaurant I used to frequent back when I clerked for the Federal Public Defender (albeit at a different location).  It was on the other side of the Willamette River, so I couldn’t get there on foot easily.  This left me two options: (1) hire a Lyft/Uber driver (the smart option) or (2) drive there myself (the less smart option).  Unfortunately, option (1) did not occur to me until I was across the river and driving around looking for parking.  Whoops!  Fortunately, everything worked out in the end, and I unlocked a new life achievement: Portland Nighttime Driving!

Finally, it was Halloween, the last day of the event (for me, at least—I’ll be too busy tomorrow to attend the final day).  I put on my scary lawyer costume, checked out of the hotel, and headed over to the convention center.  The main focus of these lectures was on how to open and maintain an independent law practice (how appropriate for me).  There were also a few lectures that dealt with self-care regarding trauma; heavy (albeit familiar) topics that were thankfully made digestible over the course of the day.  Over lunch, I got to talk with some other professionals in the field of Oregon criminal law.  I hit it off OK and confirmed what I hoped: I’m going to get along well in this community!  When the lectures were done for the day, I hopped into the Benmobile and drove on back down to Tillamook (fun fact: driving through Portland at twilight is just as unnerving as driving there at night).  Driving through the woods, I did my best to sing along with Bon Jovi on the radio and not get blinded by headlights.  When I finally arrived back at my dung-scented domicile (the smell is starting to grow on me—it’s now the smell of home), I had a bit of an odd experience.  When coming into the house and opening up my room, I inadvertently let one of my landlady’s cats into my room (backstory: my landlady and her husband have 2 cats that wander around the property, inside and out, that provide mouse control and cuteness)!  Not wanting it to get hurt or damage my things, I, a grown-@$$ man in a suit, spent about 15 minutes talking to a cat, trying in vain to keep it out of my closet and coax it out of my room.  Seeing that negotiations weren’t working, I gave up, got changed, and petted the kitty for about 10 minutes while it purred like a little motor in my arms (I would include pictures, but I’d rather get my landlady’s permission before posting a picture of her cat on my blog).  Eventually, I lured it out of my room with some clicking sounds and petted it some more; it purred for a bit, then darted into the shadows of the house, likely looking for food.  Feeling hungry myself (and not feeling like cooking), I ventured into town and got some sushi (where half the waitstaff and customers were in costumes).  As delicious as Portland food is, there’s nothing like some Tillamook seafood for late night comfort.

And so, my Halloween comes to a close.  Nevertheless, the biggest scare is for tomorrow: starting a new job. *gulp*  Here’s hoping things continue to go well!

My cherished Oregon State Bar membership lapel pin, which has I have constantly worn throughout October (and will continue to wear throughout my career).  No one would believe I was a lawyer if I didn't wear it.

Seriously, at the pro bono event, people kept assuming I was a law student until they noticed the pin. XD  Time to start building a reputation!

Into the Woods

The sight from just outside my room.  Nothing reminds a man of him being in farmland like seeing cows from his window when he wakes up.

For me, a man more used to urban environments, life in Tillamook County is quite the adventure.  Every morning, I have new sights, sounds, and smells to deal with compared to my last residence.  I see cows out my window and pastures on the highways.  I hear mostly silence, even when in town.  Most distinctively, I smell cows*** everywhere.  Every.  Where.

Honestly, the smell doesn’t bother me all that much (though I sometimes wonder if I’ve wandered into a bathroom when I’m indoors).  I used to volunteer at a horse stable and read court cases in law school, so I’m used to dealing with all kinds of s***.  Furthermore, I have it kind of lucky.  Based on the position of my residence, I’m high above many surrounding farms (which means having killer views) and just out of range of a methane plant that is constantly emitting fumes.  According to some of my fellow lawyers, the smells from that place makes cow dung seem pleasant by comparison.  Although I don’t look forward to smelling those fumes, it’ll probably happen sooner or later as I reside in this county.

Things that aren’t poop-related are going well, too.  Today, I got the Internet in my room ironed out and took care of some logistics associated with a move (cancelling utilities, notifying the DMV, etc.).  When 6pm rolled around, I didn’t quite feel like cooking (possibly because I’m still a little intimidated by having a new kitchen).  As such, I ventured out to a new restaurant I had read about on Yelp by following my phone’s GPS.  Unfortunately, one thing I had failed to read was the exact location: it wasn’t until I was deep in the woods that I realized that this restaurant wasn’t in town, but out in the middle of nowhere, where shadows tower tall and cell phone coverage is non-existent (but there is limited Internet—weird, I know).  Oregon’s forests are beautiful at night, but they also make you feel that a bear/serial killer/vampire/sasquatch is just around the corner.  Still, I soldiered through and found the diner.  It was a charming little place with amazing food (I should really do a post about Tillamook’s delicacies in the future…), and I had a pleasant dinner.  As soon as I left the diner, I felt dread; my iPhone wasn’t getting any kind of signal, so I couldn’t use a GPS to navigate out of the woods and get home.  And so, there I was, in Ted Bundy’s old stomping grounds, without a clear way back.

Not wanting to be Bigfoot chow, I carefully got back on the road I had taken and drove back the way I came.  Exiting the woods wasn’t too difficult, but I didn’t know where exactly to get off the highway.  As I was contemplating pulling over and rechecking for Internet coverage, I saw it: the fumes of the nearby methane plant!  I knew then that my exit was close by, and that I had to monitor the plant to properly gauge the proper distance to determine where home was.  I pulled off the highway at the next exit, and I was home before I knew it!  I had made it home without my GPS (sort of; I got it on during the last few stretches of road to ensure my safe arrival); I had pulled through yet another adventure in Tillamook County!

I’ll keep this little incident in mind as a parable of sorts.  With some luck, I should be able to keep navigating back anytime I get off course in life.  I just need to keep my eyes on life’s methane plants (but hold my nose)!

I did not take any pictures of the woods, so here is the pasture from before at night, just to drive home how dark Oregon gets in the evening.

The methane plant that helped me out, big time.

Shipping Up to Tillamook

Hello from Tillamook, Oregon, everyone!  I’ve finally finished up my move to where pastures are green, cheese is plentiful, and the air has a…peculiar smell (here’s a hint: when you have a lot of cows about, milk isn’t the only think they regularly produce).  Packing and moving has been a whirlwind experience, and I’m glad to finally have a moment to catch my breath and reflect.

My moving gauntlet began last week, when I began slowly transporting a good deal of my possessions to the house of my longtime romantic partner, Cthulhu (not their real name, they wished to have their name protected when mentioned in this blog).  The room that I’m renting has limited space, so there was a lot I couldn’t take with me.  Fortunately, Cthulhu was kind enough for me to leave many things in their custody.  Because this involved a lot of shuttling items between houses, this gave me plenty of opportunities to test out my new set of wheels, a used 2015 Nissan Versa that I have lovingly dubbed “the Benmobile.”

The Benmobile: she may not look special, but she's reliable and efficient (much like her owner, seen here gesturing proudly).

On Sunday, it was time for the big move.  Cthulhu and I loaded up what I was taking into our respective cars and road—er, rode—up to Tillamook, convoy style (cue the song “Convoy,” by C. W. McCall).  The ride is officially about an hour and a half, but with traffic being what it is and constant roadwork, it’s more like a 2–3 hour drive.  Such a trip is daunting to many, but thanks to modern GPS smartphone technology, even a goof like me can pull it off.   So, 2–3 hours later, we arrived at my new pad, unloaded everything, got some sushi for dinner (Tillamook County is on the Oregon coastline, so there’s some excellent fresh fish in the area), and did some grocery shopping.  After Cthulhu left, I embarked on the last step of any move—unpacking everything into my new home.

However, I wasn’t done yet.  I had several pieces of furniture at my Salem apartment that I couldn’t take with me, but that Cthulhu was interested in taking off my hands (including my queen-sized bed with built in drawers).  As such, I drove down to Salem on Monday morning to tie up loose ends.  After transferring a few other items we missed last week, I worked with some professional movers to get the furniture moved over.  My apartment all but empty, I then proceeded to defrost the fridge, clean the bathroom, vacuum the floors, and conduct the other mundane tasks that one must complete when ending a tenancy with a rental agreement.  The tasks took much longer than anticipated, but they did get done.  Because it was twilight by the time the apartment was empty and locked, I decided to stay the night in Salem than drive for 2–3 hours in the dark.  Fortunately, despite their estate now being very crowded with my things, Cthulhu was willing to let me sleep over.

As luck would have it, Tuesday marked the fourth anniversary of my relationship with Cthulhu!  As such, after dropping off my old apartment keys, I got to spend a romantic brunch looking into Cthulhu’s eyes at one of our favorite dining spots.  My business in Salem completed, I bid Cthulhu a warm goodbye and started the drive back up to Salem.  After 2–3 hours, I arrived back at my new place and unpacked what little I had brought with me.  Despite having run around like a madman for the past few days, I had one final big thing to do: meeting my fellow Tillamook lawyers at an informal bar association meeting.  The meeting was at a seafood restaurant by the coast, which had lovely views and delicious food (as previously mentioned, being on the coastline gives Tillamook County excellent fish options).  I got to introduce myself to the tiny legal community of this rural county, and I hit it off pretty well with them.  I even got to tell my life story to the CEO of the Oregon State Bar, who was impressed with my current ambitions.  When the dining and socializing was done, I drove on home.

And so, I’m curled up in the comfy chair in my new room, jotting down my recollections.  Already, I’ve gotten used to the new place, accustomed to grocery shopping in town, and excited about new potential restaurants and cafés to sample.  It’s only a matter of time before I head down to my new office to get things ready, so it’s nice to be able to take a breather.  Seeing how I’ve been able to do a tremendous amount in the last few weeks (buying a car, packing everything up, organizing a multi-step move, driving cross-county repeatedly, breaking ice, and completely unpacking and furnishing my new room), I feel a little more reassured about the challenges to come.

Here’s hoping things continue to go smoothly!

The view from the Oregon coast.

Introduction: Blogospheric Reentry

I thought I was done…I was wrong…

Now…I’m back…

I’m writing another blog!

Hello, everyone!  If you’re reading this, you’re either really interested in my life or completely lost because you somehow stumbled onto this page while scrolling through conspiracy theories or porn.  If you are in the first camp: welcome, friends!  I hope this blog will give you a sweet fix of Ben-adryl whenever you need it.  If you are from the second camp, I should probably introduce myself and give some backstory:

My name is Dr. Benjamin David Fischberg, B.A., J.D., Esq., but you can call me Ben (or Q…or Admiral…or Dr. Fischberg III; I have several nicknames).  I’m twenty-six, I live in Salem, Oregon, and, as of now, I have been a lawyer for just over two weeks.  Six years ago, I was a pipsqueak college student who spent a semester abroad in Greater London.  I was young, foolish, and excited, but I was also somewhat daunted by the prospect of being in an entirely different country for an extended period of time.  To cope, I decided to write a travel blog, Fisch and Chips, where I recorded my adventures for three months.  What adventures they were: I traveled to Tyburn, wandered through Whitechapel, beheld a murder trial at the Old Bailey, and saw many other sights as part of my criminal justice-themed pilgrimage.  On less gruesome notes, I also watched Macbeth at the Globe, became a pescatarian at the Tower of London’s ice rink, was hassled by Parisian transit cops, was solicited by prostitutes in De Wallen, rode the London Eye, and had all kinds of amazing experiences across Western Europe.  If you want to read more details, here is the URL for the first entry: http://benfinlondon.blogspot.com/2013/08/theresa-half-packed-suitcase-in-my.html.  Blogging was a great experience in and of itself, so I decided to consider it for future adventures.

Less than a year later, I scored an internship with the Public Defender of Marion County.  Working there required that I live by myself in Salem, Oregon all summer.  Feeling a familiar combination of excitement and dread, I poured my heart into a second blog: Ben Around the Block.  While not quite as flashy as my English adventures, my adventures from that summer saw me develop cooking as a hobby, watch four criminal trials, tour the Oregon State Capitol, flirt with a thief, and have similar fun times across the Pacific Northwest.  Again, here’s a URL for the first entry if that sounds intriguing to you: http://benfinsalem.blogspot.com/2014/04/here-we-go-again.html.  When I finished this second blog, I doubted that I would ever find adventures worthy of recording again.

…This brings us to the present.  Since my last blog, I have graduated from college, taken a gap year, endured three years of law school, and survived the Oregon Bar Examination.  Shortly after being sworn in as an attorney, I accepted a job in Tillamook, Oregon with the Tillamook County Defense Consortium.  The past two weeks have been a bit of a blur—between locking down housing, buying a car, and packing up everything in my apartment, it can sometimes be hard to keep track of what day it is!  In November, I will be officially opening up my own law office for solo legal practice (though it will be a while before I get any criminal cases assigned by the state and even more of a while before I get paid)!  I’m moving to a new place by myself, relearning to drive, opening my own law firm, and starting a promising legal career as a criminal defense attorney—I think all of that’s worthy of a blog!

A few things to note: first, this blog will NOT cover most aspects of my job.  Working with clients requires confidentiality, and I don’t want to jeopardize that through my snarky writing.  If my job will come up in this blog, it will only be in a general sense regarding broad aspects of my work.  Second, because of how busy I plan to be, I don’t know how often I’ll be posting.  I mostly plan to write entries when something new and exciting happens.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to stay on top of things!

All in all, I’m about to start a truly exciting time in my life.  I hope that y’all will enjoy this journey with me—I’ll do my best to share every major step!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some packing to finish up.