Mele Kalikimaka

The year 2022 is winding down.  As with every year in my legal career, it’s been a busy year filled with ups, downs, and relative social isolation.  Having endured some of my gnarliest cases yet and with temperatures getting colder and colder, I knew there was only one way to properly end this year: returning to the sunny shores of Hawaii.

And so, Cthulhu and I made the flight to Oahu where we stayed with my parents.  There, we enjoyed all 8 nights of Hanukkah, Christmas Eve, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, the occasional rendezvous with old friends, walks on the beach, a fun day at the water park, many video games old and new, and, most importantly, a trip to the Honolulu Cat Café for a meeting with SO MANY KITTIES!

Kitty!

Kitties!

More kitties!

Meow

Not cat-related: I also saw Hamilton on break.

In short, this trip out of state was just what I needed to finish off this whale of a year.  As the holidays and the year come to a close, I’ll bring this positive energy with me as I get ready to tackle whatever professional issues that may arise.

Falling Down

 Ah, fall: that season that falls between the sun-soaked fun of summer and the snow-frosted holiday season of winter.  I’ve usually associated autumn with returning to school and getting to work (at least before I wrapped up my formal education in law school).  It has also provided unique adventures from time to time, be it traveling to London or moving to Tillamook.  Ultimately, the autumn of 2022 was less eventful than usual.  Nonetheless, there were some fun holidays that kept things festive and cases that kept me on my toes.

All Hallows Eve was one such holiday that provided some (pumpkin) spice to the season.  In the past, this holiday has meant 2 things above all else: costumes and candy.  Unfortunately, a combination of work (a lot of it; I had a whopping 9 court hearings scheduled for Halloween) and continuing COVID restrictions conspired to keep me from indulging too much in the spooky season.  Still, I made do with what I could: I stocked up on cheap candy the day after Halloween, and I did dress up, albeit a bit lazily:

 

Boo!

 

(For those not in the know: the Bluebook is a compilation of rules used in citing sources for legal documents and law review journals.  It is the bane of law students all over America.  I included an Unus Annus (look it up) pin because life is fleeting and skulls are cool)

Thanksgiving was another holiday that was scaled back a bit thanks to COVID (as it has been for the past 2 years).  Thankfully, the week around Thanksgiving usually has light work in the legal field, so it was nowhere near as busy as Halloween was.  I managed to wrap up most of my obligations to incarcerated and other high-priority clients by mid-week, so I managed to make it down to see Cthulhu just as the sun was setting on Thanksgiving.  Work may be long and celebrations may be simple, but I was very grateful to end Thanksgiving surrounded by the love of Cthulhu and their cats.

The last holiday of note this fall (I haven’t forgotten Discoverer’s Day, Veteran’s Day, Labor Day, etc.; I just didn’t have any special plans or events for them) was Black Friday, that day when market forces are unleashed and its every shopper for itself.  While writing this, I am still taking advantage of online deals that result and trail from Black Friday.  For the day itself, I spent it as I usually do: hunkered down inside and avoiding highly populated areas as much as possible!

 

Hiding from hyper-capitalism-caused chaos is always best while cuddling a kitty. :)

As you can see, fall has been a quiet season on my end.  There have been brief trials, various court hearings, and client-based complications on my professional end but nothing high-stakes lately (*knock on wood*).  The usual hardships and heartbreaks of modern existence follow my personal life but nothing worthy of mentioning here.  As November and fall begin to fade away, I can expect things to pick up in the winter as more holidays, further plans, and a whole new year come into focus.  And with COVID seeming to simmer down to the point that the pandemic might finally end, the sky is the limit for what adventures the future may hold.

For now, I’ve got some shopping and resting to do.

Pin-Up Model

 

Those who have known me for a long time know that I have an eccentric taste in fashion.  I don’t follow current trends, but I tend to march to the beat of my own drum and gravitate towards vivid colors.  Since middle school, tie-dye t-shirts have been a staple of my wardrobe; whether I buy them from online sources, farmers’ markets, or random hobos/hippies on college campuses, tie-dye makes up most of the shirts in my closet.  Since moving out to Oregon, I’ve adapted by also embracing flannel shirts, be they plain or adorned with plaid.  Jeans and cargo shorts tend to round out my casual looks.  My outfits may not be anything special, but they work for me and require little fuss.

Sadly, when you’re a lawyer, you are expected to dress like a lawyer every day and not like a hippie on vacation or hipster drug dealer.  As such, the tie-dye, flannel, and casual pants are reserved for the weekend; suits and ties are now my bread and butter.  While this does sometimes feel like a crimp on my style, I’ve found one way to express myself: lapel pins!  As such, while autumn chugs on and I do my best to find new adventures/stay sane, allow me to show you my current lapel pin collection.  Enjoy!

The first pin in my collection, which I received upon being sworn in as a lawyer.  I don't wear it too much these days, but it has a special place in my pin box. :)

A four-leaf clover pin I specifically got for St. Patrick's Day but sometimes stick on when I want to feel lucky.

A breast cancer awareness pin I wear all throughout October.  I've gotten some words of approval while wearing it. :)

A classic American flag lapel pin: perfect for patriotic holidays or LARPing as a politician.

A pin of the Oregon State flag.  This one would honestly make more sense if I was a prosecutor, but I like the occasional variety.

A recycling symbol I mostly wear on Earth Day.

A peace sign pin (with tie-dye tie), in case the recycling pin wasn't hippie-ish enough.

A Salem (aka Cherry City) pin for when I'm thinking of my old town of residence, the farmers' market there (where I bought it), or visiting Cthulhu. :)

Some cheeky pins I mostly wear around the office on lighter workload days.

Some scales of justice, both in pin and tie form.  Between these two, I can understand why people keep asking if I'm a Libra.

Some other scales of justice I wear, featuring guest appearances from Lady Justice, Daredevil, and my pro bono award clock.

A pop art pin for when a long week is almost at its end.

A new poppy pin that I plan to wear on days of remembrance going forward.

Coming from my last conference, its a pin honoring the American Bar Association (of which I am a card-carrying, pin-wearing member)!

A turkey pin; perfect for when Turkey Day approaches.

A pin that will see a lot of action this December.

Finally, here's a pin I borrowed from Cthulhu that I'll be breaking out for Halloween tomorrow.  What exactly is it?  Find out next time, dear readers; same Ben-time, same Ben-blog!

 

Thirty Days Hath September...

 

…and nothing blogworthy happened in any of them *rimshot*

Kidding!  The life of an attorney is constantly busy, even when it comes to the little things.  Still, this was a slow month compared the previous two (which featured trials so intense it turned my blog into a cat appreciation blog).  It’s not much I can talk about (as I still have professional standards, no matter how many stupid jokes I make), but this month’s work filled my calendar and paid the bills; sometimes, that’s all you need to wind down summer.

One thing that kept this month fun (aside from working out and playing Pokémon endlessly) was that I made sure to spend some quality time with Cthulhu.  We attended a late-summer Pride event in Salem and are currently attending a networking event for lawyers in Portland.  No matter how many cases drive me crazy, Cthulhu is there to keep me stable. :)

As fall continues with a whole new batch of imminent trials coming up, I’m going to need that stability.

Random Photo #1: The Portland skyline from the conference hotel

Random Photo #2: Some food porn in the form of a pretzel from Deschutes brewpub

 

Cats

 [Editor's note: the author of this blog is physically and emotionally drained from the aftermath of some major cases.  As such, this blog will be taking a break from typical attorney shenanigans and Tillamook observations; instead, here are a bunch of cute cat pictures, because the Internet could always use more of those.  Enjoy.]

Some people go to church or watch sports on Sundays.  I spent most of my Sundays this month being drooled on by a rambunctious kitten named Goose.  Good times. :)

Another cat I got to meet this month, named Sean.

I know I posted this photo of Christmas Cat last time, but I really think it's a great photo! :D

What's better than petting a cat?

Petting TWO cats! :)

I can't quite tell if that look means "I trust you, hooman" or "you are very weird for blogging these pictures, you know that?"

I've been playing a fair amount of Pokémon to relax lately.  Here is a kitty from Brilliant Diamond.

[Special thanks to Cthulhu for introducing me to so many cats/taking some of these pictures/putting up with my weirdness.  Also, special thanks to Salem Friends of Felines, an awesome charity organization (which is not formally associated with this blog) that you should totally check out: https://sfof.org/.  We will continue our usual blogramming next month.]

Try, Try Again

 Make no mistake, it is definitely summer here in Oregon!  Whether it’s the coastal fields of Tillamook or the suburbs of Salem, temperatures are high and cooling breezes are rare.  Every day is a challenge to remain as cool as possible, be it by sleeping in front of a fan or carefully regulating the local ventilation.  I for one cannot wait until autumn arrives and my office no longer feels like an oven all day.

Aside from the heat, I’ve been contending with professional challenges all summer.  As mentioned in the last entry, this summer has brought a host of trials to court, with varying subject matters and mixed results (none of which I’m going to discuss in detail; I’m a professional).  I’ve spent more time down at the courthouse than in my own office, and I’m usually pretty busy every waking moment.  It’s never a dull moment in the challenging life of a defense attorney, and that’s never been truer than during this summer.

As stressful as this summer of trials has been, there has been one major silver lining: I’ve now gotten much more used to conducting trials.  Where trials were once major events that would take a month of buildup, they’ve now become routine events (albeit ones that eat up the entire week).  From the overall ebb and flow of procedures to the emotional highs and lows that accompany trials, I’ve become an old hand with trial work.  Nonetheless, I have to find relief wherever I can find it, be it D&D every other Sunday, seeing Cthulhu and Christmas Cat every weekend, and enjoying a nice cold drink and scrumptious meal after a long day.

A big meal at Denny's: the only way to conclude a trial week, regardless of the outcome.

I think Christmas Cat still likes me. :)

 

Pride Along 2: Pride Harder

 

When it comes to Oregon, weather is never stable for long.  This year saw hail in April, some calm in May, and a whole lot of heat in June.  One day, you feel comfortable in flannel; the next day, you feel broiling in anything other than shorts and a t-shirt.  Summer is most definitely here, and I’ll be sure to (responsibly) enjoy the rays before the skies out here return to persistent grey.

As the weather heats up in Oregon, so does criminal defense work in Tillamook County.  To catch up on the backlogged court docket, the Circuit Court has opened a new courtroom to allow for more in-person hearings.  As such, in-court appearances are common as ever, and I’ve even tried a few cases in the past 2 months.  As summer continues, more trials are set to proceed, some of them bigger than ever.  After 2 slow summers in Tillamook County, it looks like the summer of 2022 will be quite a…trying time. *rimshot*

…Please drive home safely.

Since trials are their own brand of trauma (and one I don’t feel like addressing here), I’d rather write about the enjoyable experiences the last 2 months brought.  The highlight of May (aside from the conference mentioned in the last entry) was my parents coming to visit Tillamook.  Visiting Tillamook is something my parents have been wanting to do ever since I moved out here, and I was happy to give them the full Tillamook experience: local restaurants, the faint and ever-present smell of manure, and a peek at the legal juggernaut that is Benjamin D. Fischberg, Attorney at Law LLC.  They even got to see me in action during a routine court appearance!  It was weird being this professional and grown-up around my parents, but it was a pleasant feeling: I’m making my way through this world, and I’m (hopefully) making them proud.

While May saw my parents come and go, June offered a wide variety of social options that I took advantage of.  I spent plenty of time down in Salem with Cthulhu, and I got to see a few a few old friends here and there.  However, the arguable highlight of the month (and the summer so far) was Salem’s yearly Pride event, which took place on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon.  Having enjoyed my Pride debut in Keizer last year, I attended with eager anticipation.  Overall, it was a great time in a welcoming and familiar setting.  Hopefully, this will set the tone for the rest of the summer; with all the work piling up on my plate, I’ll need to treasure my weekends extra hard this year!

Salem's most beloved celebrity, Cesar the No-Drama Llama, joined the festivities at Pride.

Ever a patron of the arts, I purchased this fascinating wire tree at Pride.

It's summer in Tillamook, so the cows are out grazing in full force. :)

Conferences, Colds, and Campaigns

 

Another month, another series of events.  After hail-filled April, I expected/hoped that May would be a much calmer month.  While the weather was certainly nicer in May, the month was something of a roller coaster that I’m still getting in order.  Hopefully, writing about it will keep me organized…and sane.

The first big thing of the month was the OCDLA (Oregon Criminal Defense Lawyer Association) annual juvenile law conference.  While I do not specialize in juvenile law, it is a pertinent area for me to brush up on.  Best of all, I got to spend time in beautiful Newport, Oregon, complete with gorgeous beaches!

 

Check out this lovely beachfront view!

…OK, so the weather wasn’t exactly beachworthy.  Still, this conference was a nice break from the usual routine.  When I wasn’t listening to lectures, getting depressed about the troubled teen industry, or trying to network, I enjoyed the amenities of the hotel, which featured some truly amazing food!

 

Am I really posting photos of food on my blog?

Yes.  Yes, I am.  The food was that good.

Looks like I may have a bright future in blogging food porn in the future!

Unfortunately, for every positive, there is a negative.  After driving back down from Newport and steeling myself for another week of work, I woke up the next day feeling sick beyond belief.  Given that the COVID-19 pandemic has still not ended (people: get. your. shots. already.), I was naturally a little anxious.  Thankfully, since a lot of my work is on a database I can access from my home laptop, I was able to work from home, calling in whenever I was needed for a court appearance.  In other good news, I tested negative for COVID, so this ended up just being a minor cold (albeit one that left me feeling in shambles).  I just had to wait it out, spending a week recovering, working, and voting by mail in the local elections.

For those not in the know, Oregon conducts all its elections by mail.  While not always perfect, it’s a pretty good system.  You don’t have to completely readjust your schedule, you don’t have to deal with crowds, and you can take any time needed to research the candidates and initiatives on your ballot.  This month’s election was relatively sedate on my end; nothing particularly scandalous happened here in Tillamook County.  The same can’t be said everywhere else; in one other county, a hotly contested race saw an unpleasant incident where a candidate was attacked for–*gasp*–having connections to defense attorneys (and therefore having ties with criminals).  Isn’t it wonderful knowing that, thanks to my work, I’m a convenient bogeyman for public servants to spit on and attack? J

A week of bedrest later, I’m fit as a fiddle and ready to resume regular working.  After the relaxation afforded by conference and a truly wretched week, it’s time to jump back into the fray, buckle down, and continue doing a job that gets me vilified in popular elections.  Tally ho!

What the Hail?

Ah, April, that wonderful month where winter’s snow melts into spring’s clear water; where showers of varying intensity bring next month’s flowers to bloom; where…hail…covers the ground in Oregon.

April Fools!

This may be the same parking lot, but this photo was taken about two weeks after the first one.

Yeah, that’s hail.  It hailed several times in April this year.  Proof of impending disastrous climate change or just a regular month in Oregon?  You make the call!

While this month certainly had…interesting weather, it also saw a surprising return to normalcy; court has (mostly) done away with video appearances, and everything is back to being in person.  While it honestly feels like this is a step backwards in some regards (appearing by video was extremely convenient and fulfilled its purpose), I must admit; being in court all the time does have a certain charm to it.  With any luck, this will reflect the pandemic finally winding down and life reaching the same level of opportunity as pre-March 2020.

April’s showers bring May flowers, they say.  Hopefully, April’s hail will bring May freedom, fun, and awesome f***ing flowers. :)

Cthuluau

 

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn to months, and months go by, but relatively little changes in the world of criminal defense.  I continue to receive and resolve cases, trials approach only to be delayed at the last minute, and I’m constantly bouncing between clients who are mad at me and clients who are thankful for my work.  As much as I like my job, there’s only so much one can take without a break from it all.  This month, I finally got just the break I needed.  Best of all, it was alongside my sweetheart/partner in (researching) crime, Cthulhu!

To be specific, Cthulhu and I were bound for Hawaii, the sun-drenched island chain where I grew up and where my parents still live.  The last time I had visited Hawaii was September 2019, before I officially became an attorney (and started this blog).  This marked the first time I visited Hawaii and hugged my parents as a practicing attorney.  It can be jarring to look at things this way and realize just how quickly time can pass.  Still, regardless of time, occupation, or global pandemic, some things stay the same.  Cthulhu and I spent our time doing a lot of what we usually do in Hawaii: swimming, going to the beach, and playing Red Dead Redemption 2.

It wasn’t all fun in the sun and virtual cowboying, though.  One think Cthulhu and I ventured out to do was hit up the Hawaii Cat Café to enjoy some coffee in the presence of kitties.  With Christmas Cat back in Oregon, it was a great way to de-stress and get some feline-induced relaxation vibes.  It was definitely a great addition to the vacation itinerary and contributed to the overall feeling of relaxation.

SO

MANY

KITTIES!

Most of our non-cat relaxation was low-key.  There was however one other major excursion of note: near the end of vacation, Cthulhu and I hit up Kailua Beach to soak up some rays and try something neither of us had done in a while—building sandcastles.  With little more than a bucket and our imagination, we eventually created a gorgeous folly known as Kailossus.

Behold!

A close up with more details.

The drainage pond at Kailossus, which helped the castle withstand flooding experiments.

How we left Kailossus, to be discovered and enjoyed by others.

However, like all good things, vacation eventually came to an end.  And so, I made my return to Tillamook, where the air is laced with manure and the prosecutors are packing heat (in Tillamook County, prosecutors are deputized by the Sheriff’s Office, meaning they have issued sidearms).  I picked an interesting time to come back, too: Oregon has now removed almost all mask mandates, meaning that life is taking a massive step back to normal.  Work is picking up already, but I’m energized and ready to go thanks to the rest and relaxation I got in Hawaii (along with some reassurance that the pandemic is winding down).  Aloha, Hawaii; it was wonderful as always.  Now, it’s time for me to leap back into the jurisprudential fray!

Postscript 1: Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day, everyone!  Even at 29, I know that you need to wear green to get in the spirit/avoid pinches.  My wardrobe that day took that into account.

Postscript 2: another low-key adventure was trying Parmesan ice cream.  It is way, way better than you think it might be, and I cannot recommend it enough. :)